Sorry, not sorry: Being chronically late makes you a bad friend

Opinion: I might get cancelled for saying this, but showing up late to everything makes you a bad friend.

I’m not sure when it happened, but calling people out for their constant lateness has somehow become a bigger social crime than making friends wait for an hour past a meet-up time.

Discourse over the issue is everywhere online, with people blaming their tardiness on everything from bad time management skills to oversleeping.

On this week’s episode of the Two Blunt podcast, my co-host Yashee Sharma and I unpack the unlikely sentiment that has now emerged from the ‘chronically late’ debate:

You can’t be mad at me for being late because it wasn’t in my control.

(It actually is, though!)

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Sorry, but being a good friend means thinking about how your actions will impact your friends.

It also means taking some accountability and planning ahead.

Have you ever been seated at an empty table 45 minutes after your birthday dinner was supposed to start because everyone was running late? I have! It’s not a good feeling.

But if I were to express my anger about everyone being late, I’d be painted as the ‘bad friend’ for not being considerate of why they couldn’t arrive in time.

Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

This discourse feeds in to another trend that’s been dominating Gen Z friendships: the weaponising of therapy lingo.

Saying things like “I’m protecting my peace” or “I’m setting a boundary” doesn’t automatically mean you’re excused from being a bad friend.

The ironic part is that if many of the people who throw these phrases around actually did go to therapy, they would know that.

If you don’t show up to a friend’s birthday party because you’re tired from work, that’s not you “protecting your peace”. You’re just being a bad friend.

Suck it up and be there for your mates.

Watch the full discussion on this week’s episode of Two Blunton Youtube now.