Why I need a spreadsheet to keep my friendships alive

Anyone who has navigated the minefield of adult friendships knows how much work – not to mention admin – can be involved in maintaining them.

It feels like we’re the same old people, but as we progress in our lives, we can’t escape the life admin. Travel, careers, partners and spouses, kids and other activities get in the way of a good old gossip session.

Attempts to meet up are made, of course, with a storm of availabilities often being thrown into the ether of the group chat.

My own friend group, which has miraculously stuck together since high school, has tried it all – everything from messages detailing our availabilities to multiple Facebook polls trying to find a date when all six of us were free.

After too many weeks back and forth, I decided enough was enough. We needed to visualise the problem.

I decided to take to a fresh spreadsheet with unrestrained vigour.

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On the left-hand side, I painstakingly filled out the first column with every single date for two whole months (and though there is probably a way to do this automatically, I am terrible with technology, which only shows how desperate I was for a catch-up to go as far as to open up a spreadsheet).

The first row contained the names of my friends, each coordinated with a colour from ROY G BIV.

I then filled each day I was free with my assigned colour, even adding notes to the cell if needed.

When I was done with my handiwork, I unceremoniously dropped the link into the group chat.

“Mark the days you are available in your assigned colour. When we see a rainbow, we’re meeting up.”

The response was phenomenal.

“Now this is on the next level,” said one of my friends. “Such a meme about adult friendships,” commented another.

“You should post it, it would go viral,” another friend of mine encouraged.

Even with all my efforts, it still took a week for everyone to fill in their availabilities, but I’ll take it over a month of silence.

Eventually, we got not one, not two, but three dates out of the exercise.

Over time, we got the chance to celebrate birthdays, milestones, baby showers, Christmas, Eid, the end of the year and the start of a new one – chances that wouldn’t have manifested if it weren’t for my meticulous admin work.

I wonder how hyped the reaction will be once I drop this article in the group chat?