'Holidays and relaxing aren't necessarily the same thing. Here's how to avoid a meltdown'
We're tired, we're overworked, interest rates are up, super is down, everyone's stressed.
We need a holiday. We want to RELAX!!!!
That's easier said than done. Anyone who's ever been on a holiday will know that holidays and relaxing aren't necessarily the same thing. A holiday is going somewhere that is not your home for a fixed period of time. There's no guarantee you'll relax.
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Holidays and relaxing aren't necessarily the same thing. Here's how to do both. Getty
Sometimes it just means you've moved yourself somewhere else. I should know. In a former life I had a stressful job and whenever I took some leave I was determined to relax. That's not the way to approach relaxation.
You can't treat it like a chore or a project. Overthinking relaxation will have the opposite effect.
It took me years to properly understand relaxing and now I am a world-class relaxer.
So, here are my top 5 tips on how to relax on holiday.
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John has become a pro at relaxing. Supplied/John Walsh
Don't overplan
A friend of mine has an Excel spreadsheet colour coded by country and activity that projects his holiday plans for the next 10 years. Yikes!
It's fine to want to see the Ashes at Lords in 2029 but you don't need to plan a long weekend to the Gold Coast in 2032 today.
And don't overplan activities in advance or once you're at your destination. Relaxing doesn't mean cramming every available minute with something to do.
Like I said, that's treating a holiday like work. There are no KPIs you have to hit on holiday. Parasail in the afternoon but you don't have to go ziplining and cave diving before lunch.
Planning too much is a way to add stress. iStock
The joy of doing nothing
This is one I struggled with but now am very good at it. It's about guilt. You've only got two weeks off, you've paid for flights and accommodation and you want to get the most out of your break.
You want to get your money's worth. I get it. But doing the least is sometimes the most.
Unless you're a botanist you probably can't sit on a tree stump in the forest and stare at a leaf for 15 minutes during your working week. Now you can. The holiday police won't arrest you for loitering.
If you wander back to the villa or the bure and say "not much" when people ask "what you have been doing?" that's a win.
You shouldn't feel guilty about wanting to do nothing. Getty
Routine
This may sound like a contradiction to what I've been saying but there is value in some routine on a holiday. Remember, the other 50 weeks a year are heavily structured so suddenly having no schedule at all can feel chaotic.
As a morning person this is where I quite like some routine. I love Hawaii and whenever I'm in Honolulu I always get up, go for a walk and have a coffee at the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf at the Moana Surfrider.
In Brisbane I always go to the McDonald's in Queen St for hotcakes. Are there better options in both cities? Probably, but there's something comforting and relaxing about the familiarity that settles me into the day.
The same goes wherever I am. It has a way of really implanting you in the new environment.
Significant other and family
This is touchy territory but it needs to be addressed. If you want to keep your significant other significant and your family familiar you need to carefully navigate this aspect of the holiday. The stress of travel can cause cracks in the best relationships.
One survey I found said that nearly 80 per cent of couples argue on holidays and another claimed that 40 per cent say the stress of trying to have the "perfect holiday" causes arguments.
Make sure your relationship doesn't implode while you're away. Getty
So, with the stats stacked against you how can you avoid the same fate?
First you need to acknowledge that everyone has a different idea of what relaxing is.
If you like to run and your husband likes to read then run free and let him read freely. Have some point in the day where you "do your own thing" and come back together for an activity you both enjoy.
Keep this as a kind of rinse and repeat template and there's less chance for resentment to build up. If you're travelling with kids you have an extra layer to contend with.
From my experience, the two biggest things to deal with are kids that are hungry or overtired. So make sure everyone is fed on time and bring snacks whenever you're on the move.
Try to do your main family activity in the morning when everyone is freshest and give over the afternoon to free time for splashing in the pool or screen time.
Also give the kids some buy-in to the activities so they have some ownership and are more likely to engage.
Travelling with kids makes it even harder but it is possible. Getty
Expectations
You build up in your mind exactly how you see the holiday going and when it doesn't pan out exactly as you'd hope it can lead to moments of disappointment.
I'm not suggesting you lower your expectations, but just accept the holiday will probably take on a life of its own and just go with it.
So, don't try and relax on holiday. It shouldn't be an effort. Don't overplan, indulge your own interests and indulge the interests of others. You want your holiday to under promise and over deliver not the other way around.
And whatever you do, never tell anyone to RELAX. It never works!
John Walsh was Executive Producer of the TV travel series Getaway from 1999-2024. You can follow John on Instagram @thegetawayexpert.
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