'I should've just gone home': Controversial wedding invitation leaves guest in awkward situation

A controversial wedding 'trend' has left one guest in an awkward situation.

On Reddit's 'Wedding Shaming' thread, the guest explains they have been friends with the newlyweds for "a long time" and part of the larger friend group.

The couple has been in a relationship for "eight or so years" and tied the knot in November.

"Bride and I were especially close friends (one of my best friends even) during our college years, but we drifted apart a bit after I moved away to the other side of the country," the guest explained.

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"No split or anything, always really good to see each other, just way less often than before."

They explain that while they were invited to the wedding ceremony during the day, and to the reception, they were seemingly not invited to stay for dinner.

"Most other guests were only invited to either one, I didn't really know what to make of it," they explained.

"I thought the dinner in between the two events was going to be just the bridal party, but it turned out to be like 40 people, including other people from the uni friend group," they added.

Unsure of what to do, the wedding guest ended up wandering around in the city, "getting a sandwich and eating it in the freezing cold by myself" before returning.

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"At the party everyone was super warm and welcoming and seemed genuinely happy to have me there, but I still have this nagging feeling that I should've taken some hint and I should've just gone home after the ceremony," they said.

They have been left "feeling weird about it", taking to Reddit for feedback from others.

"Not sure where you are located but it's pretty normal in the UK to not be invited to the ceremony and dinner but to be invited as an evening guest," one Redditer explained.

"Then there is usually a later buffet type meal to have. It is a way of accommodating work friends, etc.

"I do find it weird to be invited to the ceremony and expecting to lurk around until the evening!"

Another felt it was "definitely weird".

"The reception ends at 4, and they're supposed to just dick around for 5 hours until 9PM with nothing to do?" they commented.

"If it were me I'd leave after the ceremony. I'm not sticking around for 5 hours with nothing to do, especially if I got left out of the dinner."

One Redditer shared: "I had something similar twice. Invited to ceremony and then the party but not dinner."

Another felt this was a cost-saving move.

"Yeah, there definitely does seem to be something weird going on there, in my opinion," they wrote.

"Though, I guess it could be a normal wedding thing, too; maybe they were just trying to cheap out on wedding costs. Like not wanting to buy dinner for all of their wedding guests; just some of them."

"We call it 'coffee guests'. You have one set of guests invited for dinner, and then some are invited to join for coffee, cake and partying," another explained.

"It's so you can have a big guest list when you can't afford to feed them all. I don't much like this because it's sort of in your face 'you're second tier guests'."

Another concluded, "They weren't trying to hint that they didn't want you. They were just cheap and came up with a not-great solution to save money."

An Aussie commented, writing, "Australia you're invited to both -ceremony and reception after though there's a gap bc the bridal party take photos in between. The worst are when photos take hours.

"Some couples may choose to offer refreshments before at the reception venue or people go to a pub somewhere before reception. Rehearsal dinner isn't a thing in Oz."

"I agree with the other poster that this seems like cost management, but in a way likely to cause offense and inconvenience to guests," another person said.

"The couple wanted a church wedding AND a sit-down dinner AND a party reception but had to pare each down to what they could afford."

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