'Why does my cat do this?': An investigation into why my cat won’t eat without me standing by her side

Although I love her with all my heart, I admit my cat, Piku, is not the most openly affectionate pet I’ve come across.

A seven-year-old domestic short hair, she has a low tolerance for being patted, often trying to nip me or hiss at me if I bother her too much. But as of late, I have noticed one behaviour from her that has tears welling in my eyes. 

When I come home from a long day of work, she is always sitting at the door, staring and waiting for me. It’s only as I reach her, she leads me to her food and starts to feast.

As she eats, she looks back to check I am still there and if I try to leave any earlier, she’ll run ahead and block me from leaving. 

While I try not to get too ahead of myself, I do believe this means she, at the very least, enjoys my presence. But I also wonder what this behaviour really means.

Is she starving herself and waiting for me to get home to eat? Is she too lonely with me gone the entire day?

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For answers, I turned to Dr Claire Jenkins, Founding Director & CEO of VetChat, and one of Australia’s most recognised veterinarians and pet experts Dr Katrina Warren.

Jenkins says this is totally normal – a sign of the bond owners’ share with their cat. 

“Even though they have a reputation for being independent, domestic cats genuinely feel safer and more relaxed in the presence of someone they trust,” Jenkins told nine.com.au.

“When you walk through the door, your cat essentially gets the all-clear. The environment feels safe again, and that’s when they’re ready to eat.

“The checking in while they eat can be the same idea. You’re their safe person, and they just want to know you’re still there. It’s pretty endearing when you think about it that way. 

“Cats are more socially complex than people give them credit for.” 

Warren adds that this behaviour has its roots in cats′ wild ancestors, who “would hunt alone but then eat in groups to reduce vulnerability to predators while focusing on their meal,” she previously told nine.com.au.

“Kittens also usually sit with their litter-mates to eat, so perhaps they may feel more secure with company.”

Unfortunately, this behaviour can possibly mean cats aren’t eating properly when not in the presence of their beloved owners. 

“A lot of cats with this tendency will pick at their food during the day but really tuck in once you’re home,” said Jenkins. 

“For most cats this isn’t a major concern,” she explains, advising that if you notice any changes in your furry friend’s eating habits, behaviour, stools, energy levels, or routine, it’s best to have your cat physically checked by a vet.

(Piku has just been to the vet and was given the all-clear, and so I wasn’t so worried about any health concerns in particular.)

Warren adds that while this can be normal behaviour, it can also be a sign of mild separation anxiety, prevalent in cats who were separated from their mums early on, or who were hand-fed as kittens and see that behaviour as comforting.

Affection eating can also be triggered when there is a stressful change to their environment. 

Piku was found on the streets when she was only a few weeks old, so this makes sense with her history. 

Jenkins adds a sudden change like “suddenly refusing to eat, or eating much more or less than usual, can sometimes be an early sign that something physical is going on rather than just emotional.” 

“Cats tend to internalise stress rather than act out the way dogs do, so it can fly under the radar.” 

Luckily, Jenkins suggests some easy and affordable ways to reduce anxiety in cats and give them comfort, especially when owners are not at home all the time. 

Things that stimulate their brains can work to distract them from their need for company. For example, puzzle feeders or lick mats can make eating a fun, engaging activity all on its own. 

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Leaving the TV on – especially on hours-long videos of birds and gardens that are made specifically for cats, which can be found YouTube – is perfect for getting their attention. 

It’s also important the cat has a space of their own where they can do things that come naturally to them, like climbing, hiding, and scratching on posts.

“A cat who feels secure in their home is generally a much less anxious cat,” said Jenkins. 

You can also do things to give them comfort.

Leaving a shirt with your scent on it near their bed or feeding spots can soothe your anxious cat, and in some cases, even having another companion in the form of another cat can be beneficial – though this will always depend on whether the cats would get along. 

“It’s a big decision that needs really careful thought and a slow, proper introduction process, so have a chat with your vet before going down that path,” Jenkins advised.

One thing is for sure: For a cat who acts as if she can barely stand me, Piku’s acts may as well be a declaration of eternal love, and I’ll reciprocate it for her.