‘Rule #1: No gloating’: The grand final dilemma plenty of couples are facing

No switching the TV off or storming out of the room. No gloating, especially if the game is close. Whoever loses has to be gracious.

These are the ground rules Sydney couple Simon and Shannon have committed to for when they sit down to watch the NRL grand final. “There is also a strict rule against blaming the referee for more than five minutes after the final whistle,” Shannon adds, “but realistically, that may be difficult to enforce.”

For plenty of Aussie couples, tonight’s face-off between the Newcastle Knights and the Sydney Roosters will throw divided loyalties into sharp relief. You love your partner, but what happens when that love doesn’t extend to their favourite team?

Forget age-gap relationships – we need to talk about the complexities of team-gap relationships.

‘Neither of us was ever going to be converted’

When they met, Simon and Shannon quickly realised their fervent footy allegiances would “create plenty of banter” in their relationship.

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“Simon’s Knights support runs deep, and I am equally passionate about the Roosters, so neither of us was ever going to be converted,” Shannon tells nine.com.au.

“It seemed like a harmless difference of opinion. We never imagined it would lead to us sitting on opposite sides of the 2026 grand final, negotiating referee-blaming limits and trying to influence our toddler’s future sporting loyalty.”

It’s an interesting new relationship milestone, and Simon says the Knights’ semi-final victory – a possibility the couple had “tried not to talk about beforehand” – has inspired some rivalry at home in the days since.

“Shannon has been sneaking Roosters gear into my wardrobe and different spots around the house. Both of us are confidently predicting a win,” he says.

Despite their opposing allegiances, the Sydney couple will be watching the game together at home, as it would “feel wrong” to do so separately.

“We will both be in our team colours, although we may need to sit at opposite ends of the couch,” Simon jokes.

There will even be a little mutual happiness for each other’s teams – well, until kick-off, that is.

“The media seems to be favouring the Knights, and honestly, if the Roosters win, it will feel like they are ‘killing Bambi’,” Shannon says.  

“We both know how much our teams mean to each other, and making a grand final is a massive achievement.

“There is genuine respect there, but that will probably disappear for 80 minutes, or longer if it goes to golden point.”

For Simon, supporting different teams makes watching footy more fun.

“There is always something to talk about, and it gives us healthy competition,” he says.

“The NRL premiership is a little bigger than a regular-season game, though, so there may be a very brief discussion about divorce if the result does not go the Roosters’ way... completely joking, of course. Probably.”

Navigating a team-gap romance

Susie Kim, eharmony’s dating and relationship expert, doesn’t consider divided sporting allegiances a major relationship issue on their own.

“It comes down to how you handle the rivalry together ... [and] how you’re treating each other during or around games,” she tells nine.com.au.

She says the key is being aware of each other’s comfort levels and limits.

“There can be plenty of enjoyment in supporting opposing sides. A bit of friendly stirring, match-day rituals or an agreement that the losing supporter is on washing-up duty can make it fun, provided you’re both comfortable with it,” she says.

“It only becomes a concern if the rivalry repeatedly leads to feelings getting hurt or arguments that are difficult to resolve. You don’t have to love their team, but you should respect that they do.”

For a major showdown like today’s grand final, Kim says it’s worth a quick chat beforehand to establish some ground rules to keep the rivalry friendly.

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“Some couples love a bit of stirring; others prefer to watch without a running commentary from their partner,” she says.

“Be clear about what you’re comfortable with, keep the banter about the footy and ease up if one of you stops enjoying it

“You can cheer your heart out for your team and still be thoughtful towards the person you love sitting beside you.”

For anyone who’s dating, or in the early stages of a romance, and wondering whether opposing team allegiances is going to become a dealbreaker, Kim has some reassuring news.

“Even for a diehard fan, finding out that a date supports a rival team often leads to banter and playful competition, rather than being seen as a dealbreaker,” she adds.

“If you both love the footy, you’ve already got something in common, even if you’ll never agree on who deserves to win.”

A new frontier

Having a partner committed a different sporting team is one thing, but Simon and Shannon’s divided loyalty faces a new frontier: their 22-month-old son.

“We will let him choose eventually, but there will certainly be some lobbying along the way,” Shannon says, admitting she has Roosters gear ready for him.

“I have sneakily been teaching him how to say ‘Roosters’ and make the rooster sound ... he has no idea what is happening, but he is already being asked some very serious questions about who he will choose.”

Simon, meanwhile, is reluctant to “impose anything” on his son after his own experiences.

“I picked the Knights and Essendon and have been pretty miserable for the last 25 years because of it ... I’ll let him make his own mistakes,” he adds.