‘Never accept a horse after the first date’: Why Jane Austen’s lessons on love still ring true two centuries on

Jane Austen is never entirely out of the zeitgeist, but the literary icon is certainly enjoying a major pop culture moment, with two of her beloved works getting a 2026 refresh.

At a glance, Austen’s world and ours couldn’t be more different. The Regency era’s society balls and formal rules of courtship have given way to a largely digital (and entirely lawless) dating market. But some aspects of love and relationships are eternal – from ‘love bombing’ to making snap judgements of a potential date.

Next month, a new Sense and Sensibility film will hit cinemas, while Netflix is bringing Pride and Prejudice back to the small screen in December. It’s been more than two centuries since Austen’s heyday, yet her work clearly still resonates – especially where love is concerned.

If you ask Lisa Campbell, a longtime ‘Janeite’ and host of the Into the Austenverse podcast, Austen’s view on relationships transcends the finer idiosyncratic details that come with the passage of time.

“There’s a lot said about the politeness of the world that she writes, and the formality of romance and how relationships work,” Campbell tells nine.com.au.

“So from afar, it would appear it doesn’t have the same resonance as it would do today and the way that we enact and the way that our relationships unfold.

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“However, her understanding of human psychology and the personalities of people is so detailed and so clever that every time you read an Austen character, it brings to mind a real person and often people you know.”

“The way she draws the characters is timeless ... just as we don’t change as humans, neither does the characters’ shelf life.”

Austen’s work has been part of Campbell’s life since her teen years, when she read Pride and Prejudice and became “absolutely enamoured” by the iconic 1995 BBC TV series. The film adaptation of Sense and Sensibility was released the same year.

“I was completely head over heels for the world it created,” she recalls.

Last year, Austen wove her way into Campbell’s own love story: She and husband David Campbell, a “complete newbie” to the books, joined forces for their podcast Into the Austenverse.

“With the spin-offs that have come out, whether it be Clueless as a modern adaptation of Emma or the way Pride and Prejudice has been reimagined over the ages, it feels as though it’s an engine that just keeps turning,” she says.

While Austen’s work spans a range of topics – from family life to class and social hierarchies – romance, of course, features prominently. What mere mortal hasn’t swooned over Mr Darcy’s final declaration of love to Elizabeth Bennet?

When asked to identify Austen’s most enduring lesson in love, Campbell takes a lengthy pause to mull it over.

“I would say the most resounding motif is that your first impressions of someone are not necessarily the true picture,” she says.

“We see that in both Sense and Sensibility and in Pride and Prejudice. People will initially feel one way about a character and often other aspects of their character will appear, for better or for worse.”

Overhearing a man describe you as “tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me” at a local dance is one version of this, sure, but it’s an idea that still rings true in the era of dating apps.

“Isn’t that just the same as seeing somebody on Tinder, seeing what their profile looks like and then learning the person behind them?” Campbell says.

“Whatever the external version of ourselves that we want to put out into the world is, whether that be online or at a ball, that can often be misleading as to the person we really are.”

Campbell notes that Austen was even ahead of her time in describing behaviours that are now articulated through modern dating buzzwords.

Case in point: what we call ‘love bombing’, ie lavishing a love interest with gifts and grand gestures early in a relationship, is reflected in the dashing Mr Willoughby giving Marianne Dashwood a horse days after their first meeting.

“I’ve always lived by the fact it’s too soon in a relationship to accept a horse from a man you’ve just met,” Campbell laughs. “Never accept a horse after the first date.”

The producer and casting director’s favourite Austen love story constantly changes, influenced by whichever book she’s rereading. Currently, that’s Sense and Sensibility. (Warning: spoilers for a 215-year-old book ahead.)

“I always feel as though Colonel Brandon gets a bad rap ... it’s tough to be him for the majority of [the story],” she says.

“But he’s a good man, and I love the fact the good man gets the happiness in the end. There’s a beautiful, complex character in both Marianne and in Colonel Brandon, and I’m glad they find each other.”

While Austen’s six published novels have all been reimagined for the screen, it seems Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility have a particular hold over us; the former has inspired a long list of adaptations and spinoffs, like Bridget Jones’ Diary and Bollywood’s Bride and Prejudice.

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While romantic love is a key theme explored by Austen, Campbell believes it’s another love story inherent to these two books that strikes such a chord.

“The writing of the sisters is so beautiful, and so well drawn, it becomes a timeless story,” she says, referring to the five Bennet sisters and the three Dashwood sisters.

“In many ways those are the true love story, the real, central relationships that forge a scaffolding where the men become secondary ... it’s something that can always be revisited.”

Campbell says this was an echo of Austen’s life behind the scenes.

The author’s close bond with her older sister Cassandra – the pair were best friends and confidantes – and the support she provided was integral to her literary success.

“I think that’s a really important aspect [of her work], and galvanises a sense of women, or female characters, existing at the front of a story but not being pitted against each other.”