'Poor Jeff Bezos. He's trying to marry his sweetheart and all he's getting is grief'

OPINION -- Poor Jeff Bezos. The guy can't get a break. He's trying to marry his sweetheart in Venice this week and all he's getting is grief.

The locals apparently don't want the world's richest man and his celeb guests taking over their sinking city for a few days. Protests (with the catchy name of No Space For Bezos) have now forced him to move to a less boujee part of town to a site fully surrounded by water, which isn't hard to find in Venice.

The name of the new location is Arsenale, which sounds exactly like what the protestors are trying to do to Bezos.

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Ninety private jets are flying 250 VIP guests in for the nuptials. What's wrong with that? Have you ever had to fly commercial?

That's a rhetorical question. I'm guessing you all have. Then you know what I'm talking about – even if you book The Residence on Etihad (a three-room suite), you still have other people on the plane you don't know. Awkward.

Who knows how much the wedding is going to cost? Estimates range from $20 million to $100 million, but Bezos and bride-to-be Lauren Sanchez did arrive in Venice on a $775 million yacht, so not sure nitpicking over the exact cost is really productive.

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Anyway, Bezos is donating €3 million to the city to help preserve the city's waterways and cultural heritage, so let's move on.

The wedding guests have been spared one big headache: what to buy the happy couple? The wedding invitation has been leaked overnight and requests NO GIFTS... but do they really mean that?

People often say they don't want anything for their birthday or Christmas but are often testing your love or friendship.

You can't tell me Lauren won't be secretly hoping for a tennis bracelet from Leo or Oprah.

Anyway, the good thing is, if you get a last-minute pang of guilt, Amazon's same-day delivery service will save the day and you're putting a few bucks back in Jeff's pocket. Everyone's a winner.

Despite the no gifts policy and the donation to the city, the protestors are still intent on disrupting the three-day celebration by staging demonstrations and blocking access to the canals.

(Which will be a twist on what usually happens in Venice in summer: hordes of American tourists blocking access to the canals.)

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Not all the locals are unhappy, though. The owner of a local pastry shop that got the contract to make biscuits for the reception is, unsurprisingly, chuffed about the whole thing.

"Events like this bring quality tourism to Venice… it's prestigious that a couple like this who could get married anywhere in the world, are getting married in the city," they said.

A sentiment that couldn't have been better expressed by Bezos' prestigious PR firm.

Lanza & Baucina have been hired to run defence for Bezos until the ink is dry on the marriage certificate.

The company is so high-end they don't use social media, instead issuing statements through newspapers:

"Rumours of 'taking over' the city are entirely false and diametrically opposed to our goals and to reality. No exaggerated quantity of water taxis or gondolas have ever been booked, the number of taxis reserved being proportionate for the number of guests."

See. False and exaggerated.

And what about cold feet? A lot of grooms get them. I don't want to read too much into it, but Bezos did send his fiancee into space with Katy Perry a couple of months ago...

Anyway, the main thing is she's back safely and every chance of a prenup to cushion the landing.

John Walsh is the former Network Executive Producer of Married at First Sight Australia.

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The biggest celebrity moments at the Bezos-Sanchez wedding

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