Mum asks: is there ever an acceptable reason for cheating?

A post on popular online forum Mumsnet has raised the question of whether there is ever an ‘acceptable’ reason for cheating.
 
In a message posted on Monday, one user explained there were a number of reasons behind her husband’s infidelity, one being “sexual rejection” on her part.
 
“Our sex life has got progressively worse over the past year and it had got to the point where I never wanted it and certainly never initiated anything,” she writes. 
 
“We were going through a very difficult period in our marriage and our relationship had deteriorated so much that ... if he initiated it and we did sleep together it was pretty obvious that it was just a chore to me.”

The woman’s husband told her that after a year of this happening, he was feeling depressed, unloved, and terrible about himself.

“I believed prior to this that if someone cheated you should leave as the trust that your relationship was built on was gone but now I’m in this situation I don’t know what to do.”

The anonymous poster says she wants her marriage to work, and is struggling to process her husband’s cheating - even though she “sort of understands” what led him to do it.

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“Obviously we both should have talked to each other about the way we were feeling, as I felt that he wasn’t treating me well at the time which is why I was finding it difficult to be loving towards him, but we didn’t talk and now we are in this situation,” she adds.
 
The response from fellow Mumsnet users was pretty much unanimous: there is never an ‘acceptable’ excuse for being unfaithful.

“Did he put a caveat in your marriage vows about being faithful to you "unless your sex life takes a bit of a temporary dive in which case I'll forsake you and shag someone else if they're nice to me" then?” one asked.

LISTEN: The Life Bites podcast on the importance of setting boundaries. (Post continues.)

“Sex is an important part of the relationship. If you fail that commitment, then common sense says your partner will seek that affection or intimacy somewhere else.”
 
Responding to commenters, the woman said she and her husband were trying to be more communicative and work through their issues.
 
“Since it’s happened we’ve both been very open and honest and I just wish we’d been like that 6 months ago and perhaps this would have been avoided,” she writes.
 
“I admit I am going against my own beliefs in trying to rebuild things, but it’s really hard to walk away. 
 
“We used to have a fantastic relationship and have two small children who up to this point have had a lovely life.”