The World Cup final was the craziest spectacle ever seen, and it had nothing to do with football

Opinion: A president behind bulletproof glass, a trophy arriving in a Louis Vuitton case and a bunch of Hollywood megastars screaming in the crowd.

No, it wasn’t the Super Bowl – it was the 2026 World Cup final, and it was the most unhinged, over-the-top entertainment spectacle the sporting world has ever seen.

In what was, in my opinion, a sluggish and boring match between champions Spain and *sigh* Argentina (apologies, bitter England fan here), it was what happened off the pitch that made the night so outrageous.

For a start, that half-time show. This was the first time in World Cup history we’ve had to endure to an American-style intermission, and it took exactly two seconds for the collective jaw to drop.

Madonna emerged first, driving football legends Ronaldo and Ronaldinho onto the pitch for a pre-match celebration – a cheeky little attempt to win over the highly critical football fans for a moment, perhaps? Nice try.

Gen Z got their moment when beloved boy band BTS hit the stage. Justin Bieber then belted out a surreal ‘World Cup hallelujah,’ before Shakira was seen popping and locking like it was going out of fashion. Oh, and then The Muppets sang a song because... god knows. Bizarre.

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For the most part, many seemed to enjoy it – apart from legendary English footballer Wayne Rooney, who labelled it “crap”, and my die-hard football fan dad Ron Douglas who rang me up to complain like I had something to do with it.

Away from the half-time show, the crowd was filled with a who’s who of Hollywood’s elite.

Blake Lively, who infamously wasn’t invited to ex-bestie Taylor Swift’s wedding of the century, was front and centre. Will Ferrell was there. David and Victoria Beckham, of course. Kylie Jenner and Timothée Chalamet were smooching in the stands. Even Aussie radio host Lauren Phillips was there. EVERYONE!

Tom Cruise (!) of all people delivered a heartfelt monologue before kick-off that was largely drowned out by the crowd, but we all got the gist.

“Let us celebrate each other! This is football. This is greatness,” he said, beaming. The irony of a Hollywood action star explaining “this is football” to a stadium full of Europeans and South Americans wasn’t lost on anyone, but it was quite the vision.

The absolute madness didn’t stop there.

Bruce Buffer, the UFC ring announcer, was pitch side announcing the World Cup final with his “Let’s get ready to rumble!” catchphrase. So American.

Naturally, President Trump wasn’t about to miss a spectacle of this scale – albeit with a massive layer of extra security. He sat behind a wall of bulletproof glass alongside Melania, Barron, and FIFA President Gianni Infantino.

There was a smattering of boos as Trump’s face flashed upon the screen, but he, of course, was not fussed. In fact, he thought America’s hosting of the World Cup was so good they should get to do it again very soon.

“We have to do this again, and we have to do this again while I am around, hear that Gianni?” he told Fox Sports before the match. Sadly for Trump, FIFA rules say the US can’t host again until 2038 – but given the absolute chaos we just witnessed, rules clearly mean absolutely nothing any more.

Arguably the greatest part of the whole final was at the end, when Spain were finally handed their trophy after an incredible campaign. The trophy which had been transported to New York in a Louis Vuitton case for good measure, of course.

Trump was there to shake their hands, and then… just… wouldn’t leave the team as they raised the trophy for the first time.

He remained, beaming away like he himself had just won with Infantino actively trying to usher him off-stage.

I’ve never seen anything like it. It was the perfect, most outrageous end to the maddest World Cup final we’ll probably ever see.

It was exactly what you’d expect America to pull off for a final, and while I hope we get back to some level of normality in future, it was a laugh for a year.

Vamos!