Get Nicked: Filthy limericks, canned air and accidental adult films

Turkish President Recep Erdogan managed to insult just about every Australian and New Zealander by linking the Christchurch attacks with the Gallipoli campaign.

So Get Nicked has no qualms dredging up this old story that reflects poorly on Mr Erdogan.

Mr Erdogan's reign has sent Turkey down the path of authoritarianism, including prosecuting those who would criticise him.

As a consequence, UK's The Spectator announced a competition for who could write the most offensive poem about him.

The winner was written by none other than former UK Foreign Minister Boris Johnson.

But the poem was deemed too offensive to publish here.

Scott Morrison may have responded to Mr Erdogan with strong words this week, but if he'd done it with a limerick, we'd have been much more impressed.

Deep embarassment

On paper John Hickenlooper is one of the most qualified Democratic candidates for president.

But this cringeworthy anecdote is giving voters pause for thought about his judgement.

As an 18-year-old he was invited by a friend to see the infamous porn movie Deep Throat at the local cinema.

And not knowing the content of that film, the former governor of Colorado invited his mother along.

"I'm sure she was mortified," he told CNN.

"And I said repeatedly, I think we should leave. I think we should go."

But aware of her son's humiliation, Mrs Hickenlooper insisted they stay.

If that isn't a character-building experience, nothing is.

Canned air

An Adelaide man has started a new business of selling cans of "outback air" to Chinese customers.

Granted, there's a market for fresh air in cities like Shanghai, where the default weather condition is "smoggy".

But we can't help but recall that this is the exact product that features in the Mel Brooks classic Spaceballs.

Thin ice

An American figure skater has been accused of slashing one of her rivals with her skate, in an alleged attack likened to the Tonya Harding case.

Mariah Bell was accused of deliberately injuring her training partner, South Korean teenager Lim Eun-soo.

Ms Lim had to receive emergency treatment for the cut across her calf.

Get Nicked is definitely on Team Lim here, but as a former street hockey aficionado, has a better idea.

Why risk your calves with ice skates when we have the safer and cooler alternative of roller-blades.

They are every bit as functional, and all you need is an empty car park.