Bachelor alum Tara Pavlovic on ‘penny drop’ moment she realised her marriage was over

The Bachelor alum Tara Pavlovic has opened up about her divorce, revealing the moment she realised she had to walk away from the father of her two children.

Pavlovic, 36, recalled feeling “completely numb” by the end of her marriage to Nick Shepherdson while speaking to Laura Byrne and Keeshia Pettit on the Life Uncut podcast.

“It got to a point where I just stayed quiet for so long. I kind of stopped bringing things up because nothing was kind of working,” the mum of two said.

“I just felt like I can’t control anything. I’m just going to try and do me. I remember saying to him, ‘I’m worried. I’m so disconnected.’

“‘Like I don’t even care if we fight or anything. I don’t care if you go away. I don’t care about anything. And he was like, oh God, okay.’

“So I went back to therapy... and I kept trying and trying and trying. I was trying for the kids.

“I’ve got nothing left to give to the relationship, but I’m just going to try because I don’t want a broken family for the kids.”

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She revealed the “penny drop” moment came during a couples counselling session when she realised it wasn’t enough to stay together “for the kids.”

She and Shepherdson share two children, Paddy, four, and Edi-Rae, three.

“I didn’t actually fully separate with him until we spoke to the couples’ counsellor about it,” she confessed.

“She had some questions and she kind of was just like, ‘Why do you want to stay?’ And I was like, ‘For the kids... she [said], it’s not enough, it’s just not enough.’”

“Having that third party was so helpful in keeping our conversation calm and not reactive, which we really struggled to do in the house. It would always just get to the point of a fight. And I’m like, we need a mediator.”

Pavlovic added that her children “weren’t getting the best version” of her while she was still in the relationship with Shepherdson and trying to make it work.

“They don’t deserve a mum who’s dosed up on Valium in bed, like because she can’t cope with life. That’s not okay.”

“A lot of women turn to alcohol to cope and I don’t want to get to that point where I’m like relying on stuff to actually get through the day and I’m not present.

“They need a mum who’s stable and I was completely unstable. So I feel like it was my only option. It was the last option. I exhausted every other option.”

“There was no comparison, staying together for the kids would have been terrible. I was continuing to go down, down, down and none of us were happy.”

In a post shared to her Instagram in April, Pavlovic announced she had split from her husband of five years.

“I know there’s been a lot of speculation about what’s been going on in my life lately, so I wanted to share this in my own words,” the post started.

“Nick and I have separated. This hasn’t been a quick or easy decision. It’s something we’ve been trying to work through for a long time, and for a while, I honestly didn’t know what the outcome would be.”

“After a lot of thought, I’ve come to the decision that this is what’s best moving forward.”

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She continued saying she struggled through the eight months prior to the decision, adding that the couple’s children were their priority.

Shepherdson and Pavlovic were best friends for a decade before they married in 2020.

Despite their split, the pair have a good co-parenting relationship and remain friends.

Just last month, Pavlovic publicly thanked her ex-husband for his part in giving her a special Mother’s Day, her first with their children following their separation.

She shared she received a special surprise when she arrived to pick up her children from Shepherdson.

“When I picked them up, they were holding a beautiful present and card for me – just like every other year. And I think that says a lot,” Pavlovic said.

“Even though our relationship has changed, he still encouraged the kids to celebrate me as their mum.”

Pavlovic shared the “appreciation post” to celebrate healthy co-parenting, hopeful of inspiring others.