'If only I had listened': The best piece of advice I ever got from my Mum

OPINION -- Growing up, mothers are always there for you, especially when it comes to giving unsolicited advice.

At the time, it may seem like your mother has no idea what she is talking about. Now, as a mother myself, I can feel my children rolling their eyes pretty much whenever I speak.

I was once asked to name one thing my mum was right about. It led me to think about my childhood, my teenage years, becoming an adulthood, and later a mother myself, and the words from my mother that hold the most weight with me today.

As I racked my brain thinking about the advice my own mum gave me over the years, one thing stood out.

But before we get to that, let me tell you some of the other pearls of wisdom I have received, in person or during the literally thousands of phone calls over the years, from the woman who has always been by my side.

You can't please everyone

If only I had really listened to this and taken it in, it might have saved me a lifetime of angst, because I recently discovered I am a people-pleaser.

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But having a need to please everyone all the time is not only physically and mentally exhausting but downright impossible. You really are just setting yourself up to fail.

Why I didn't listen to this piece of advice from my mum, that is now ringing loudly in my ears, is anyone's guess.

But she was right. You really can't please everyone and trying to do so will send you insane.

So my Mother's Day gift to myself this year is to make a conscious effort not to care so much about what other people think.

There is no point crying over spilt milk

We have all heard this one. As a child, it was easy to get caught up in the literal meaning.

But as you get older, you realise it's not really about a glass of milk, but worrying about something that has already happened.

I am very much someone who lives in the past; unpacking, packing and repacking events and conversations long after they have passed. But we all know living in the past is bad for us.

I once read that holding onto anger and resentment was like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

People who live in the present are generally considered happier, and less anxious and stressed than those who are constantly thinking about a past they cannot change.

Whatever will be, will be

One of my earliest memories as a child is my mother singing. She had a beautiful voice and was often singing in the house. A favourite of hers was a song by Doris Day called Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be).

"When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be?" she would sing.

"Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here's what she said to me.

"Que sera, sera, Whatever will be, will be, The future's not ours to see. Que sera, sera, What will be, will be."

I remember asking her what it meant and her response: That we don't know what is going to happen one day, so it is pointless worrying about it.

While we are not meant to live in the past, constantly thinking about the future, especially if we are worrying about something bad that may happen one day, is not good for our mental health.

This Mother's Day I have resolved to live in the present, even if just for one day.

Good things come to those who wait

I don't know how many times my mother uttered these words as I was growing up, trying to establish my career and especially, when I was struggling to conceive my first child.

As I dealt with disappointment, I could always count on her to say these words.

Whether she really believed the things I most wished for would eventually come my way, or she was just telling me what I wanted to hear, her words gave me much-needed hope.

Now, when my children are upset that something hasn't gone their way, I hear myself repeating those same words my mother used.

Which brings me on to the one thing my mum used to tell me that she was most right about. It is the thing that brought the most comfort and something I tell my own children.

It will all work out in the end

We have all had those moments when something hasn't gone our way.

It might be big, or it might be small, and can leave us feeling mildly disappointed or completely bereft, depending on the circumstance.

Sometimes, in those moments, it can feel like things will never go our way.

It is easy to make ourselves a victim; whether of bad luck, circumstances, other people or, for the most evolved, our own actions.

Having hope, whether we can summon it from within or need to hear it, can be enough to dust ourselves off so we can fight another day.

When faced with life's difficulties, it is a phrase, especially when offered by our mother, that can get us through our darkest moments.

My son has taken to adding an addendum to the phrase "It will all work out in the end". "And if it hasn't worked out, it's not the end," he will say.

These words have sustained him when he has needed it the most.

So whether your mother is living or has passed, I hope you can take some time today to think back and remember your mother's words of wisdom, how they shaped you, and how you use them in your life.

Try to think of them not just as phrases, but as a warm hug from your Mum.

And I hope they bring you comfort, whenever you need it the most.

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