‘Welcome to the competition Ronnie’

House three’s pool ten tonne Tessie is proving to be a heavyweight in more ways than one.

Negotiating access for their pool delivery nearly broke Ronnie and Georgia. Their spirits crushed, things didn’t seem like they could get much lower. But they could. A lot lower.

Right from the start of negotiations “Team Cha-Ching”, comprised of Hannah and Clint and Jason and Sarah, were sceptical that the crane work would be wrapped up by midday on Monday. Having worked on The Block for a while now, all couples have learned that things rarely go perfectly to plan so they cleverly worked out a contingency clause if the delivery ran late. Late might just be an understatement. And Team Cha-Ching were rubbing their hands together in glee.

Approx four hours to go until the 12pm deadline: “Can’t see any pool on the street,” beams Jason. He literally kicks up his heels in joy as he predicts the overtime fee of 1000 dollars an hour will well and truly be kicking in.  As the rest of the Blockheads dig in (literally), Jason dances around his shovel singing, “Money, money, money,” while Hannah smiles at his antics.  

Approx three hours to go: Jason is giddy about the fact the deal has meant he can now afford a proper backyard but he’s almost delirious about the idea he might make even more from his neighbours. “If they can’t get their pool in and they need tomorrow, well then, we’ll just take another ten grand,” he says smugly. “This is by far, the most expensive pool in all of Australia,” admits Ronnie.

Things are about to get a whole lot worse – and more expensive. Dan and Keith explain that the front of Jason and Sarah’s house has to be cleaned for crane access. Ronnie knows full well what this means – and it isn’t just some heavy lifting. Any delays for the crane could mean an extra crane hire fee of 500 dollars an hour, on top of the payments to Houses one and two.

Appoox two hours to go: Scrambling, Ronnie asks Clint if he can put Jason and Sarah’s excess cladding temporarily in his yard.

Moments later, Clint is joined by Jason. “If we’re put out at the front, well then, does there need to be compensation for it?” Clint ponders. Jason agrees and points out that his builders are using his front yard to work. “We’re not prepared to have them sit around and do nothing,” says Sarah. Ronnie clarifies he isn’t asking the builders to move, he just wants to know if he can clean the area around them.

“You want to take my front yard? Go get your cheque book. Come back, negotiate a deal for Clint and I, otherwise the crane goes down the side like we agreed upon in a handshake deal and that’s that,” Jason says.  “Welcome to the competition Ronnie! Get those pockets deeper,” he laughs as a frustrated Ronnie walks away.

“[They] have us by the balls,” sighs Ronnie while Georgia, upon hearing the update to the situation declares that her neighbours are “Dead to me, I’m done”.

But Jason doesn’t seem too fussed that Ronnie and Georgia despise him right now. “It was hilarious to watch Mr Ego have his ego taken out of his pocket, screwed up into a tiny little ball and put into my pocket. I enjoyed every minute of it,” Jason admits.

Foremen Keith and Dan try to intervene, but Jason isn’t budging. “So, are you gonna blackmail him?” asks Keith.

“I’m not blackmailing him, he wants to put a pool in his backyard, he needs me to put a pool in his backyard. Without me, he’s got no pool,” says Jason (which arguably, sounds a lot like blackmail).

The two have a tense standoff. “You should take ten bucks, you don’t have any money,” scowls Ronnie as Jason shows off in front of his team and shouts, “Enjoy swimming in the mud!” Ronnie describes Jason as a leech.

Clint sidles up to the pair. “I’ll give you 2500 cash,” Ronnie finally says to Jason. He flicks a glance at Clint. “I’ll give you nothing,” he says, fuming.  “The money tree has been cut down,” Ronnie informs a very quiet Clint. “I’m giving you f**k all.”

“My concern is, will the pool go into tomorrow?” Clint asks but Ronnie is fed up. “I can’t answer that question,” he says.

“You do understand that I’m not talking to either of those people again,” says Georgia. “I’m perplexed – like, what have we done in this competition to annoy everyone? Are we not nice people?”

Deadline time: With the crane still hours away, Jason couldn’t be more overjoyed when midday strikes and Ronnie and Georgia hit their overtime penalty rate of 1000 an hour to be split between Houses one and two.

Approx 3 hours past deadline: Things have certainly spiralled. Jason’s out in the mud, pretending to rain money down on everyone and gleefully singing, “It’s raining cash, hallelujah!” while Clint claps and cackles.

“They set the scene,” Jason says. “I’m just playing by their rules,” and he and Hannah say in unison, “Live by the sword, die by the sword.”

Approx 4 hours past deadline: Big crane and little crane finally arrive for the pool move in and no one could be happier than Ronnie. Only thing is, he’s still yet to lay eyes on his pool, ten tonne Tessie.

Jason, knowing he has control, says calmly, “I don’t know what you’re going to do because I don’t think it’s fair to take me and them out of the race for your benefit.”

“Maybe this time you bit off more than you can chew.”

The crane driver arrives and attempts to appease the angry mob. He tells them it will be in on time and as Jason challenges him, Ronnie has had enough. “Guys, it’s done,” he says. “Deal’s already been done. Thank you very much.”

Cash rich but time poor, Team Cha-Ching look stressed as they realise that if things run late tomorrow, they won’t have time to finish.

“We’re f**ked,” says Hannah, as an exhausted Ronnie heads to bed.