Once a cheater always a cheater? Experts weigh in on controversial topic

It’s a question that’s thrown around constantly. If someone cheats, does this mean they’re destined to re-offend? The experts acknowledged that there is some truth to the saying, however Relationship Expert Mel Schilling goes further.

“I want to gently challenge that,” began Schilling. “People have a capacity for change. There are a host of reasons why people might cheat. They may be going through a particularly difficult time in their life or they may be confused about who they are or where they’re at in a relationship.

“Not that these things excuse the cheating, but they can help to understand it.”

However the experts are somewhat divided, with Neuropsychotherapist Trisha Stratford adding that despite the ability to come back from cheating, it should signal an alarm.

“If you have cheated in a previous relationship that is a huge red flag. You can come back from that but it does take a lot of time to build your partner’s trust.

“Because what we see is a pattern. And people, once they’ve cheated for whatever reason, if they don’t go and do some work around that, they’re going to go and repeat the pattern.”