A new Ryanair-dupe could be coming to Australia - why it won’t work

Opinion: An Aussie entrepreneur has shared an ambitious plan to launch a new ‘ultra-low cost’ airline in the country, based on European travel giant, Ryanair.

However, as a UK-born Aussie, those three words, ‘ultra-low cost’, strike fear into me, and I’m not sure it will work.

Peter Kelly, a former Qantas exec, is looking to raise $200 million to launch bargain carrier Zinc, which will be based at the new Western Sydney International Airport.

He plans to offer flights between Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, and later the Gold Coast.

Prices will be kept as low as possible, he said.

One of the ways Kelly plans to cut costs to be making sure the Airbus A321neos planes end up in the same place every night, which he told AFR will reduce maintenance and cleaning costs.

He hasn’t revealed yet how else he plans to undercut the three other Aussie domestic carriers.

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While do I think competition is needed (Bonza and REX tried, but both went under) I am just not sure Aussies are going to cope.

I’m pretty familiar with those gaudy yellow and blue planes inspiring Kelly’s airline dreams.

If you’ve never flown Ryanair, Europe’s biggest airline, let me fill you in.

The prices start off cheap. Like really cheap.

A quick check reveals I could go to Barcelona from London Stansted next month for just around $80. Return. And I once flew from Glasgow to London for less than $40.

However, the flights you need to pick to get that price leave at sparrow’s fart and land way past bedtime.

Which is fine if you live close to the obscure airports they go from. Which not many people do. Otherwise, you’ll need to stump up for a hotel, or opt to drive there at 3am.

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Same when you land in your destination because you’re definitely not flying into the city’s main airport.

It’ll be similar in Australia, with the new airline based at Western Sydney. Which won’t have the metro ready until long after opening.

And let’s not forget, when flying Ryanair, don’t worry about packing.

Once you’ve got your toothbrush and phone charger in your hand luggage you’re pretty much at your 10kg limit.

The airline is notorious for carefully weighing bags and slapping you with any charges for every gram over. I’m not even joking.

When Ryanair boss Michael O’Leary mooted charging for the toilets a few years ago it was almost funny... if he wasn’t being completely serious.

His idea of fitting credit card swipes to the loo doors wasn’t allowed by authorities in the end.

As for the seats, an ancient church pew would be comfier (if you even get one, as the idea of ‘standing seats’ have also been floated by O’Leary.)

Anyway, keep that Visa out because you’re going to need it.

We’ve moved way past the usual rip-offs like paying to book a seat, which now seems to be standard on most airlines.

Ryanair has a “check-in fee” of around a hundred bucks if you don’t do it online.

And if you have an infant under two you’ll have to pay around $50 for the privilege of having them on your knee.

Gone over that luggage allowance and didn’t already add it to your booking?

That’ll be $120 to check a bag at the airport, please. Plus you can also add $25 to select a ‘mandatory family seat’ to sit next to your child to the bill.

Naturally, there’s also a credit-card charge on top of all those fees too.

Suddenly, that bargain flight doesn’t look quite as good, does it?

And yes, Jetstar can be pretty ruthless these days (if anyone found the bottle of red I ditched in January at gate two at Hobart Airport I hope you enjoyed it) but this is another level.

I mean moaning about Qantas is a national pastime, so I just don’t know how on earth Aussie travellers would handle this.

However, if the prices are that cheap, maybe we’ll just learn get over it...