The art of the rebound: Everyone's been there, but how do you perfect the break-up practice

You've heard it a hundred times: "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else" – but how true is it really?

Relationship expert Susie Kim defines a rebound as "a relationship that begins very soon after a break-up from a serious relationship."

She says that for celebrities, a rebound signals to the press and society that they've moved on from a public relationship that ended.

"I think especially in the celebrity world, it's a bit of an illusion of reclaiming power or showing that, you know, you've moved on, you're doing well," she says.

"There's kind of this sense of like competition, I suppose... I don't think that's the healthiest motivation, but I can see why it happens.

"It's sort of similar to like the breakup glow-up, where people are like, 'I'm going to show you that I have moved on', then they get some sense of self-confidence from that."

Pete Davidson was famously Kim Kardashian's rebound in October 2021, after her split from rapper Kanye West in February the same year.

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Davidson even attended the Met Gala with Kardashian as her date, with some saying he hit the peak of rebounds everywhere.

The comedian was seen everywhere with the reality star, even making a cameo in The Kardashians, before the pair called it quits in August 2022.

There are dozens of other examples of public celebrity rebounds.

There was Taylor Swift and Matty Healy's brief relationship after Swift's split from her long-term partner Joe Alwyn.

The rebound was so intense, it even sparked a song from the singer, titled "The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived," where the pop-star appears to rip into Healy about using her when she was emotionally vulnerable.

We regular folk can also fall into the same trap of jumping into a rebound relationship, but it can actually help someone move on if it's done correctly.

The art of the perfect rebound comes down to one thing: the delicate balance between self-awareness and utter delusion.

"I always tell my clients there is nothing wrong with pleasure and companionship and even friends with benefits, but just go in with your eyes open...don't get lost in it," Kim says.

"Just know that it is what it is and enjoy it for what it is."

She also said a rebound can help someone's confidence after a bad break-up.

"What I've seen is when you are in that state of not being able to stop sort of obsessing about somebody (an ex), it can cushion that process if you start up a new connection with someone else."

We've also seen similar in the celebrity dating world.

Following her divorce from Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston entered a relationship with actor Vince Vaughn between 2005 and 2006.

She told Vogue in 2008 she: "calls Vince my defibrillator... he literally brought me back to life."

So, how do you know if you're in an unhealthy rebound relationship?

"One of the telltale signs (of unhealthy rebound) is the intensity of your attachment to the new person," Kim said.

"So when you are falling very quickly into a state of infatuation, especially if it's soon after a breakup, it's usually a sign that you're sort of just diving too fast, in an effort to avoid pain.

"Getting lost in it (is another sign)... You can also be in denial about how painful the breakup is because you've entered a very intense and exciting new connection.

"You're sort of shoving all of your emotions to one side."

Despite the negative connotations, Kim says it is absolutely possible to have a healthy "rebound" relationship if you have emotionally healed from your last break-up.

One way of knowing you're ready is feeling indifferent to your ex, she says.

"(Think about) what feelings arise in you when you think about your ex," Kim says.

"If it's close to neutral, it kind of shows you that you're not holding them with disdain, you're not holding them with longing.

"So when there's a neutrality with which you're thinking about your ex, and there's not much emotional charge around it, I think that's a good sign."

She said another good sign is that you have your own hobbies and identity outside of the relationship.

"I think the difference between just starting a new relationship after the end of a serious relationship versus it being a rebound comes down to kind of like the emotional motivation or whether there is an emotional ricochet effect.

"Is it actually a rebound? Or are you really ready to start afresh?"

These types of new "rebound" relationships, formed after you've fully healed from a break-up, have the potential to become long-term relationships, Kim said.

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