The unlikely interaction that left Shelly Horton 'sobbing' in the back of an Uber

There's a point where you're sitting in the back of an Uber sobbing while your driver argues with the car park attendant and you think to yourself, "Is this normal?"

Nope.

But to be fair to myself, it had been a disaster of a day. You know the saying sometimes you're the bug, sometimes you're the windshield. Oh boy was I the bug!

Here's how my day unravelled. I was coming to Sydney for an emceeing gig and had an important meeting with the client at 4pm. Then my plane was delayed by an hour. I rang and pushed the meeting to 5pm.

READ MORE: Nick Cannon expecting 11th baby one year after son's death

My Uber driver, who was driving a Tesla no less, couldn't leave the airport pick up area because he hadn't paid his e-tag toll bills and refused to pay cash or use his credit card. Rather than dealing with the cost, he chose to argue with an attendant at the car park who had nothing to do with his debts.

I really needed to get moving and the stand-off that was happening between these two men was ridiculous, so I offered to pay the $9 bill (!!) to which I was met with, "I'm not a rich c--t like you", and he threatened to throw me out of the Uber.

Mortified and stressed to the max, I sat in the back seat and spiralled into a puddle of tears.

I sobbed to the driver to please take me to my hotel - where my work card was declined and made my state even worse.

I was 20mins late to my meeting and had to act like nothing was wrong.

READ MORE: William and Kate make massive announcement at charity visit

While I was in that meeting I got a text from my husband saying in my rush to leave the house I'd left the fridge door open.

After my meeting I went to the hotel bar and ordered myself a wine the size of my head, still feeling on the verge of tears. Then the words of my psychologist rang through my ears, and everything made sense.

I had gone outside of my "window of tolerance".

That sounds a bit woo woo but stick with me.

I've been seeing a counsellor to help manage my reactions while I go through perimenopause, because I feel like I'm on emotional rollercoaster when I didn't even buy a ticket to the damn ride.

My usual very Aussie way of regulating my nervous system when I become overly stressed or anxious is generally to compartmentalise it, soldier on, and just "deal with it" - but that just is not sustainable.

READ MORE: Jennifer Lawrence regrets not listening to Adele

It is certainly not possible while also juggling surges in hormones.

Recently, I was speaking to my new psychologist about how I had been feeling overwhelmed, out of control of my emotions, and more anxious than ever before and she explained to me what a window of tolerance was.

In short, the window of tolerance is where things feel just right, where you are best able to cope with the punches life throws at you. You're calm but not tired. You're alert but not anxious.

It is your zen space.

However, with any form of trauma, repeated stresses, and lack of emotional regulation our window of tolerance can be narrowed.

Each thing that went wrong that day narrowed my window.

According to Tasmanian NDIS provider, St Michaels' Mindful Awareness Stabilisation Training, the Window is a place where we are able to respond to all that comes our way without getting thrown off course. When we are outside of our window of tolerance, our nervous system responds by going into survival mode – fight, flight or freeze.

In my case the window slams shut, and I freeze then cry like a baby.

READ MORE: Single mum reveals how she saved $100 with hany supermarket trick

The trick to widening your window or recovering, and not completely losing your s--t like me, is mindfulness. Something that many of us (guilty), struggle with keeping as a consistent part of our lives.

Being grounded and aware of any thoughts, sensations, or emotions and acknowledging them is key to widening the window.

Deep breathing exercises, taking a walk, relaxing tensed muscles around your body are all ways to bring yourself back down to a calm state.

According to psychologist Annie Wright, it is important to acknowledge that the Window of tolerance is subjective.

"We each have a unique and distinct window depending on variables: our personal histories and whether or not we came from childhood trauma backgrounds, our temperaments, our social supports, our physiology, etc. No two windows will look exactly the same; mine may not look the same as yours," Annie says in a paper explaining the Window of Tolerance.

READ MORE: Deaf family meet Auslan Santa in 'magical moment'

"Those who come from trauma histories may find that they have smaller windows than peers who come from non-trauma backgrounds."

I just wish I'd remembered that in the back of the Uber.

For now, I will stick to my regulation methods of raiding the mini bar for chocolates, crying into a giant glass of red wine, and watching funny TV shows.

But I promise to keep working on my mindfulness skills. For the sake of my own dignity.