Money Manners: 'Should I get my ex-husband a Father's Day gift from our kids'

Money Manners is Honey Money's weekly column that deals with money etiquette matters that can be the cause of many an awkward encounter.

Submit your Money Manners questions to Jo Abi at jabi@nine.com.au

This week's question comes via a 9honey reader ahead of Father's Day on September 1.

Dilemma: 'Should I get my ex-husband a Father's Day gift from our kids?'

My ex-husband and I separated at the start of the year and share custody of our son, six, and daughter, four. It hasn't been the easiest separation but I hope that with some time passing, things will settle.

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He didn't organise a Mother's Day gift from the kids for me this year, and I wasn't expecting him to as we are no longer together.

But I still want to organise a gift from the kids for him on Father's Day. It's what we always used to do when we were together in addition to making each other breakfast.

Obviously I won't be making him breakfast, but I still want to do the gift. He's still the father of my children.

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But my sister says this is a terrible idea and that as we are no longer together we shouldn't be giving each other gifts for any reason anymore.

She said if I still wanted to buy him gifts I shouldn't have left and it will just confuse my ex-husband and our kids.

Advice: 'You've been given terrible advice'

Your sister's is terrible, as far as I am concerned.

I don't understand where this belief that all divorces are automatically acrimonious came from. There was once love there so why not, in some circumstances, friendship remain?

This is particularly important when you share kids as young as yours and are at the beginning of your co-parenting journey together.

The only thing to keep in mind is that he may not react well to you doing this, but that is a risk you sound willing to take and can learn from.

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Regardless, it is a positive sign that you are committed to moving towards a better relationship with your former husband, and who knows? This may be a turning point for you both.

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