'Can we give mums a break?': Why the pressure to stop kids acting like kids needs to stop
OPINION -- As a mum, I can tell you honestly that no one feels worse about their kid kicking off in a public place than the parent.
So when a video went viral earlier this week about a new mum who had made little care packs for a flight to apologise in advance for her baby being there and possibly crying, it made me feel so sad.
The pack had a cute little note from the baby, along with some treats and ear plugs, but the bigger question it raises is: Why are we saying sorry for kids, babies in particular, just existing?
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A new mum on a flight recently handed out goodie bags as a pre-emptive apology from her baby. TikTok/@callmebelly
As a first-time mum, I know that it can be hard enough finding the courage to leave the house solo with your baby some days, let alone do something like get a flight, so can we give mums – and parents in general – a break?
Power to the mum if she wanted to do this and simply thought it would be a nice thing for the people around her.
But it's sad that the anxiety that comes with your baby crying or carrying on can make anyone feel so bad about what the people around them are going to think that they pre-emptively act on it.
I've done a handful of flights with my daughter and I know how much anxiety the thought of being stuck in that small space with a hysterical child is.
A parent on a flight is going to be more stressed than anyone, but so what if her kid has meltdown. Getty
But at the end of the day, that's what it is. If she's going to kick off, I am going to try anything to calm her down and of course I'm going to be on the verge of tears doing it, knowing everyone is staring at me.
There's one piece of advice I will give any parent who's nervous about an upcoming first flight with your baby:
Your only goal is to survive it. That's it. Who cares what anyone else thinks? You'll probably never see them again.
But it goes further than planes.
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I was at the supermarket a couple of months ago and my daughter lost the plot.
I had a basket full of groceries, she was kicking off and trying to climb out, and I was on the verge of tears because I just didn't know what to do.
It was too late to dump the basket, but I almost burst into tears myself when a woman walked past and rolled her eyes at me with a huff.
Believe me, neither one of us wanted to be there. But a grocery store is not the kind of place where I'm going to try to relax and be overly upset about a kid. Same goes for a casual café.
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A toddler chucking a tantrum in a supermarket is hardly something that should ruin someone elses day, right? Getty Images/iStockphoto
Now, I get it – if you don't have kids, why should you have to listen to a tantrum?
But I'm not even talking about the bad stuff. I've seen people roll their eyes or act disgusted about a toddler banging a spoon on a table waiting for another bite of breakfast, or smashing a couple of toys around while they sit in a high chair.
Can we just let kids be kids?
By no means am I saying take your toddler to a hatted restaurant past their bedtime – which would only end in everyone's nights being ruined.
I'm talking about the shopping centres, the supermarkets, the cafes.
Parents are the ones putting so much pressure on themselves to try to be ready to diffuse any meltdown or tantrum that's on the verge of erupting – so can we just ease up a bit?
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