'Can we please stop pushing for grandparents to be paid for babysitting'

The current childcare subsidy funding offered by our government certainly has its issues.

It's not the perfect fit for all Australian families. And I, like many mums, feel disheartened by just how much of my salary is eaten up by daycare fees that I have to pay in order to continue to pursue my career goals.

I still also don't understand why as I earn more money, I then lose more of it to childcare – the math doesn't math.

Though while we need flexibility, we need more options and we certainly need more support to return to work, what I don't think we need is to turn families into businesses.

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The idea that's been swirling around that we should be paying our parents to care for their grandchildren, as an alternative to paying for childcare, to me has its issues... and I want to talk more about it.

Now in some cases – this would make sense for some families. 

I see for example a grandparent who would like to reduce their work hours to be able to take care of their grandchild. They may not be in a financial position to be able to do this. So, being able to be paid for their care time would be a great solution. 

I mean if it's between paying a childcare centre or paying your parents, using the same subsidy offered by the government, then that's a win-win for everyone. 

But what I'm concerned about, is the dynamic shift that may come with this introduction. 

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We have all heard the saying 'it takes a village'. And it does! Raising a baby is hard work. And even harder in this day and age where most families are a dual-parent working household.

So being lucky enough to have my incredible mum and mother-in-law helping me navigate has been a godsend.

Whether it be watching my two boys one day a week, helping to take care of one while I take another to an appointment or even simply coming over to watch the monitors while my husband and I head out for dinner every once in a while.

I truly do not know what I would do without them.

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But as much as I appreciate their help, as they have told me on many occasions, for them it's more than just stepping in to assist. 

It's spending time with the kids.

Having them around to keep them challenged and on their toes.

Heading out for walks in the fresh air, teaching them their native language and watching them grow.

As my mum always says, she wouldn't want to be anywhere else doing anything else. "This is what family is about", she says. 

So introducing money and finances into the operation of this village can be dangerous.

Paying grandparents to spend quality time with their grandchildren, to help their children to navigate the tricky logistics of everyday life. 

The lines can quickly become blurred here. Do they only get paid for a full day of care Monday to Friday? What if you ask them to pop in for an hour while you head out to grab something? What if you need them to do a pick up one afternoon? 

Can you imagine navigating these conversations and the awkwardness and potential friction that this can create?

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In a world where financial pressure is only becoming more and more of a burden, the help of a grandparent should I think stay as a gesture of love and affection. 

A strong family connection where an act of 'help' is like a love language.

There is no discussion of PayID, invoices and schedules. But rather just a helping hand, free of charge and free of complications.

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