BLACK DOG RIDE: The New York firefighters facing their demons after the horrors of 9/11

9NEWS reporter Simon Bouda is riding a motorcycle through the US as part of the Black Dog Ride Across America, which aims to raise awareness for depression and suicide prevention.

New York Fire fighter William Agosto looks me in the eye.

He's a man I've only just met.

Despite being almost a stranger, he's about to open up about an issue so many find so difficult to talk about.

You see, William Agosto is a living victim of the 9/11 terror attacks. Like many New York firefighters, a survivor of debilitating depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Mr Agosto lost mates. He witnessed the horror of the aftermath.

"It was shock, numbing ... I felt numb," he recalled.

Mr Agosto's crew was among the first on the scene after the buildings came crashing down.

That Autumn day had started out like most others.

"I clearly remember thinking what a beautiful day it was," he said.

"It was a beautiful day - not a cloud in the sky.

"It was pleasant, a very pleasant day."

Mr Agosto was working in a firehouse in Queens when the radio burst to life of a plane crashing into one of the Twin Towers.

Like people the world over, his crew was glued to the TV, watching it all unfold.

"I see the tower burning," he said.

"I know who was working down in Lower Manhattan and I know who was going to respond to that.

"At no point did I ever think that anything devastating, catastrophic was going to happen."

It did.

A total recall went out, with every firefighter in the city called in.

William Agosto was sent to Ground Zero.

"We were just trying to find brothers, trying to help people," he said.

"Just digging through the rubble trying to find anybody who's alive."

For the next week Mr Agosto lived at Ground Zero.

"By the end of the seven days they ordered us to go home," he said.

But those days turned into months. Every day back at Ground Zero.

Mr Agosto developed a lung disorder, brought about by the dust and particles he had breathed in.

"I felt I had, had enough - I couldn't do it anymore."

He was ordered off the job and sent home.

"I was out for nine months, medical leave," he says.

And it was during those dark days that Agosto faced his own battle for life.

"Never knowing about depression and not being familiar with the symptoms and signs I had no idea I was going through that," he remembered.

"I started drinking a lot of alcohol ... I guess to numb [the] nightmares ... bombs everywhere.

"I couldn't sleep, didn't eat. I isolated all the symptoms.

"I wanted to be by myself just to get out of my head. I didn't know what was going on."

Finally a friend, who's a therapist, stepped in and recognised the symptoms.

"He took one look at me and said 'you're not well, you need to get checked out'," he said.

"Not knowing anything about depression I argued that I was good, I was fine."

But he eventually took his mate's advice and was diagnosed with depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Therapy and medication eventually brought Mr Agosto back from the depths.

"One day I woke up and I felt just 100 percent better - and I owe it all to treatment," he said.

But the father-of-three knows how close he came to losing everything.

"Without seeking help I know my marriage would not have survived - I can't imagine where I would have ended up," he said. 

William Agosto  and sufferers like him are the motivation for a bunch of Australians - myself included - who are embarking on a mission: a motorcycle ride across the USA to raise awareness of depression and suicide prevention, especially in first responders.

Over the next three weeks fifty or so riders are taking part in the Black Dog Ride Across America from New York City to Los Angeles.

And as we wheel out of the Big Apple we know that, in spirit, people like firefighter William Agosto, are riding with us.

Today he still rolls with Battalion 4's Engine 15. He's a survivor of 9/11 who has faced his demons and won.

To learn more about the Black Dog Ride visit www.blackdogride.com.au.