Bazball ‘won nothing’, and turned England cricket into a laughing stock
Opinion: Ding, dong, the wicked Bazball is dead.
May it rest in pieces, and never be brought back to life.
Ben Stokes (right) and Brendon McCullum of England watch from the dressing room balcony. Getty Images
Did they conquer the world of Test cricket? No.
BUT did they revolutionise the way the game is played? Also no.
OK, well then, they set a new moral standard for the sport, right?
Ah, sorry, what does that even mean?
This is the team that has probably had more scandals in recent years than any other Test squad in the world.
Harry Brook belted by a bouncer in New Zealand. Players getting paralytic drunk in Noosa mid-Ashes series. Ben Stokes and Gus Atkinson breaking curfew to allegedly tussle with English rugby players at a nightclub in the early hours.
And that’s just from the past 10 or so months.
Brendon McCullum preached a culture change when he took the reins mid-2022 and this was the result. What a culture!
The off-field antics could be forgiven if the team was dominating on the pitch.
But in the 49-Test Bazball era the team won 27, lost 20, and drew two. It failed to win a series against Australia or India, its two biggest opponents, and was pummelled 4-1 by both away from home. Most recently it lost a home Test series to New Zealand.
McCullum lost his job on Monday, a week after his captain and bodyguard Stokes suddenly retired in the wake of his nightclub brouhaha.
They tried to bring a T20 philosophy to Test cricket and got found out. Hitting dingers and trying to score fast with no regard for match awareness or respect for high-quality red ball bowling.
Test cricket is a game of endurance and attrition. Leave the clowns at the circus, this is a different crowd.
Retired agitator Stuart Broad labelled Australia’s Test team its worst in a decade prior to the Ashes series over summer. He was probably right, but the Aussies still beat England 4-1.
McCullum’s men had the chance to win the series opener in Perth, but lost 9-99 and handed Australia victory on a silver platter.
It was the perfect Bazball example and BBC Sport this week said that innings “might be the most consequential batting collapse in English cricketing history”.
McCullum, Stokes and England should not be criticised for trying something different. But it was the arrogance and stubbornness which came with it that everyone outside the country could not cop.
You can be an average cricket team and people will be OK with it - at least people outside England will. Every team goes through good and bad periods, it’s fine.
If they had been belted by Australia and India, and failed to win a series against either at home, but were contrite, humble and self-aware in doing so, McCullum would be allowed to walk out the exit door with his head held high.
But all we’ve heard over the past four years is they are right, and everyone else is wrong.
Their carry on during the 2023 Ashes series was embarrassing. They claimed a moral victory against Australia but in reality they came out looking like a bunch of children who had their candy stolen.
“Yeah, maybe we ‘lost’ the match, but really, we won... we’re THAT good.”
Players drank the Kool-Aid, and it’s done some of their careers more harm than good. Some reputations may never recover.
High-profile Aussie sports broadcaster Gerard Whateley called it a “failed experiment” when reading Bazball’s death rites on Monday.
“An adventure conceived in freedom, expanse, and aggression, a style to revolutionise the staid format of Test cricket, that ultimately fell at the disciplines and demands required in the longest, most testing discipline in professional sport. Adopted with a cult-like fervour, it briefly invigorated a miserable people,” he said on his SEN radio show.
Former England captain Ben Stokes shakes hands with Australia captain Pat Cummins after losing the Ashes. Getty
“Bazball won nothing. That’s what should be chiselled on its gravestone. It ended embarrassingly and woefully.”
McCullum broke his silence on Tuesday and conceded his failures against Australia and India cost him his job.
“I got a tap on the shoulder,” McCullum said.
“I was disappointed, not just initially, but at the same time I fully respect the decision. We’re in a results business and fundamentally our results weren’t good enough. It’s time for someone else to have a go.
“I don’t think we got what we wanted really. Fundamentally, you want to be winning the big series. India and Australia are the marquee series and if you don’t win those you haven’t quite been able to achieve what you wanted to.
“I thought we had opportunities against both of those quality oppositions, and we achieved some good stuff over the four years but, fundamentally, the results didn’t live up to it at the back end; hence the decision was made.”
Farewell, Bazball. And good riddance.
