Midwife's 'hurtful comment' haunts Victorian woman

Mandy Strickland is one of four children and says she "takes after the bigger side of the family".

"I was always a bigger child," Mandy, 45, from Victoria, tells 9Honey. "There wasn't a huge emphasis on how to eat or what healthy food was but we had to eat what's on the plate. We had to finish it.

"We weren't taught to stop when we're full."

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All through school she was teased for being overweight and back then says there weren't any resources being offered to her for support.

"The bullying was horrible and you don't know how to deal with it because you don't know who to talk to," she explains.

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She wasn't a lazy kid by any means, nor has she been a lazy adult.

"I've always been active," she says. "I have tried to lose weight at some points in my life but it's all come back on because I didn't have the knowledge I needed to keep it off."

When Mandy met her husband Justin she was "thinner than I'd ever been" but had lost the weight unintentionally.

"It was just one of those periods when I was busy with my job and active and the weigh just comes off," she says.

Then she met her husband Justin and the pair quickly settled into a comfortable routine.

"You meet someone and you get comfortable and there are dinners out and lots of eating and you put on weight gradually," she reflects. "It might only be a kilo a year or half a kilo, but all those little kilos add up."

She wanted to lose weight but in the past when she'd intentionally lost weight it had always come back on, and then some.

"I could never keep it off."

It was the year before giving birth to son Jed that she was at her biggest and she still remembers the feeling of discomfort.

"I always kind of felt uncomfortable but I didn't realise how big I was," she says. "You can cover it up to a certain point and some of my clothes still fit.

"I was still active but everything I did was a lot harder," Mandy continues. "I was still a very good worker and I was still active but I didn't feel comfortable."

During her pregnancy she lost a little bit of weight at first, owing to morning sickness and during the entire pregnancy gained a healthy 10-12 kilos.

Still, she was in a larger body during her pregnancy so her doctor monitored her closely for signs of diabetes and high blood pressure.

"I got a blood test and the results were perfect," she says.

During an ultrasound however, it was pointed out to her that her baby was measuring on the large size and it was implied this was because she was large as well.

"When he was born he was nearly five kilos," she says. "Then one of the nurses at the hospital made a hurtful comment about my weight having something to do with the size of the baby.

"It was an offhand comment about why the baby was big, I can't remember her exact words, but I felt horrible," Mandy continues. "I felt like I was already a bad mum."

It was a midwife who suggested the baby's size was more likely due to genetics. Mandy says the babies born on her husband's side of the family are all on the larger size.

Mandy loved being a mum to her big baby boy.

"He was very easy to hold, he wasn't fragile at all," she says. "He was a very good baby from day one, but I also got it into my head how am I going to be a good mum and teach my child what to eat and what to avoid, when I can't do it myself.

Wanting to solve her issues with weight once and for all she found herself a "good doctor" who was able to explain to her for the first time why she'd always struggled to maintain a certain weight.

"He was able to explain to me the science of it, how it is genetic," she recalls. "He said you're not overeating, you're not eating that much, and you're active. You're doing all the right things but you're not losing weight."

For Mandy, that was it exactly.

She spoke with her doctor about her family history and how she took after the larger side of the family.

"Genetics don't necessarily determine how you can end up," she says, but it can certainly influence it.

Due to her family history her doctor recommended a Keto-style diet which as worked for her.

"Even now if I go up two kilos I get it back down," she says of maintaining her weight loss.

"It's constant work but its amazing," she says. "I can say I feel a lot lighter on my feet and everything is a lot easier."

It has since been found that up to 70 percent of the causes of obesity can be linked to genetics and the physiology that our genetics determine, including family history and ethnicity.

That means the diet culture mantra of "eat less, exercise more" doesn't work for many.

It has also been found that poorer health outcomes for obese people may be due to the judgement they face when they seek medical advice, not due to the weight itself.

When it comes to perceptions in Australia, one in four are empathetic towards those living with overweight and obesity with 40 percent understanding it is a medical issue and not the result of poor diet and lack of exercise.

However one in five Australians are unsure, believing they are a burden on the health system.

Mandy is a perfect example of what a science-based, empathetic approach from a member of the medical community can achieve.

She says the support of her doctor and his individualistic approach to weight loss has "really helped" her to take control of her health.

"It's still an ongoing lifetime journey, it doesn't stop after the weight loss," she says. "It can always come back."

Now her husband is following the same diet and they help support each other's health efforts.

With their son, they talk about health but don't put too much emphasis on what he eats.

Mandy is sharing her story for World Obesity Day (March 4) to increase awareness of the different causes of weight gain and how confronting it can be to seek help.

"You go to your GP and ask for help and its a hard thing because if you do fail on the program they put you on they many not understand your health issues fully," she says. "It can make it hard to go back."

She says she's learned its "okay to fail".

"But don't stop trying as you learn something from each attempt."

Today is World Obesity Day (March 4) and this year the focus is 'More Respect'. Find out more by visiting the website.