Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry's 'split' spotlights an awkward breakup dilemma: Who gets custody of the friends?
When a couple separates, deciding who gets the family home, the kids, the dog and the like can be messy to navigate.
But there is also another aspect people sometimes forget – the equally complex question of who gets a couple's friends.
When actors Orlando Bloom and Deborra-lee Furness flew solo at last weekend's wedding of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez, many people wondered why it was them and not their former partners that scored the coveted invitations.
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Orlando Bloom's solo appearance at the Bezos-Sanchez wedding amid Katy Perry split rumours raised eyebrows. AP
While Bloom's now reportedly ex-fiancee Katy Perry went into space with Sánchez on a spaceship owned by Bezos, she was in the midst of the Australian leg of her world tour and was unable to attend the nuptials, if in fact she was even invited.
Meanwhile, Furness's former husband Hugh Jackman was also absent.
It raised the question: how do celebrities and the rest of us mere mortals divvy up the friends when a couple splits?
READ MORE: Newly-single Katy Perry in tears at final Aussie show
When a couple separates, it can cause friction amongst their mutual friends. Getty
Sydney psychotherapist Melissa Ferrari specialises in couple counselling and said who gets the shared friends is definitely a topic that comes up in her Sydney office.
"It does come up. Separation and divorce can really challenge friendships, as it raises the fact that it really can happen to anyone," Ferrari said.
Ferrari said friends sometimes sided with one member of a divorcing couple and could base the decision on who they perceived was at fault.
But she warned this was "often without the full story".
For instance, a partner who had cheated or decided to leave a marriage might be given the cold shoulder.
At other times, couples could choose who got their support based solely on the sex of their friends; that is, males siding with the male, while females were more likely to side with the female.
"This is very prevalent," Ferrari said.
READ MORE: Why newly-married Brittany Hockley and her husband still 'don't live together'
How will Perry and Bloom divvy up their shared friends? FilmMagic
"Sometimes it's just because the connection of same-sex friendship is already there."
She suggests a divorcing couple treats mutual friends "with maturity and integrity" during a breakup.
"Let friends choose without pressure," she said.
"Maintain kindness, although you may be hurt [and] manage the fact that strong bonds will prevail unfortunately."
Ferrari also had advice for couples who are navigating the end of their shared friends' relationship.
Deborra-lee Furness also flew solo at the Bezos wedding following her split from Hugh Jackman. Instagram
"Be a listening ear [but] don't give advice that is unsolicited," she said.
"Remember, all situations are different. Offer help where you can [but] don't pressure either one to choose you."
She also had advice for couples so that a mutual friends' marriage breakup doesn't end up coming between them and their partner.
Couples who were friends can have trouble navigating a split. Getty
"Remain objective [and] only give advice if asked," she said.
"Remember, you may not have the full story.
"Preserve your own relationship by putting it first."
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