What is micro cheating? Here are the signs you should know about

The depiction of cheating in popular culture has left us with some fairly specific ideas about what it looks like.
 
Smudged lipstick on a shirt collar, for instance. A secret mobile phone. Maybe even a heart-shaped necklace bought as a Christmas present for a colleague.

(Love Actually fans, that one’s for you).

RELATED: Mel Schilling's tips for coping with the aftermath of cheating
 
“Secrecy here is key and a good indicator that things aren’t looking good.”
 
Let’s be clear here: your partner ending a text message with a kiss symbol doesn’t automatically spell the end of your relationship. It could be perfectly innocent.

LISTEN: We're at the business end of MAFS. Keep on top of all this week's dramas and behind-the-scenes intel with our Talking Married podcast. (Post continues.)

If the situation is reversed, and you’re wondering whether your own behaviour is straying into micro-cheating territory, Mel says there’s one simple way to figure it out.
 
“The best way to know is asking yourself: would I do this if my partner was here watching?” she advises.
 
Regardless of who is exhibiting the changes in behaviour, ignoring the issue and hoping it evaporates into thin air isn’t the best plan of attack - you're better off raising your concerns and talking through them.

Opening up that conversation can also allow you to determine how far your partner has progressed down the spectrum between micro cheating and full-blown cheating.
 
“In some situations you start noticing the behaviour and it’s too late; in others you might be catching it right at the start,” Mel says. 

Melanie Schilling is a dating & relationship coach, speaker and consultant, and the creator of the Date Ready Project.

She is currently collaborating with Yale University for research aiming to develop a scale for micro-cheating behaviours that can help predict full-blown cheating. You can assist this research by filling out a six-minute online survey about micro-cheating: click here.