How to check if your relationship is really on track this long weekend

When was the last time you checked in on your relationship?

For couples, the upcoming long weekend is a good chance to do exactly that.

Between the relentless cost-of-living squeeze and the general stress of daily life, it's no wonder cracks start to show the moment we finally slow down.

But a break doesn't have to be your breaking point. Rather, it can be a prime opportunity to escape the rush and actually enjoy each other's company again.

So, here's how to make sure you fall into the latter camp this weekend – according to experts.

Set expectations (and keep them realistic)

During holidays, pressure can stem from unclear expectations about plans and needs – conversations Brisbane Couples Counselling founder Michelle Janssen says are frequently skipped.

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"My advice is to talk, talk, talk! Don't assume, ask questions and figure out what you want and need," Janssen explains.

Often, it comes down to a simple check-in, she says: "Having a calm conversation beforehand allows each person to share their vision and prevents assumptions that lead to disappointment."

Psychotherapist and relationship counsellor Melissa Ferrari agrees that ironing out what each person wants from the break is key. She also says it's important to keep things in perspective.

"Not every long weekend has to be memorable, productive or perfect," she tells nine.com.au.

"Sometimes the healthiest thing a couple can do is simplify the plan, reduce unnecessary spending and give themselves permission to make the weekend manageable rather than ideal."

Pick your moments

In the heat of a disagreement, what you say matters as much as when you say it.

Bringing up unrelated issues during an argument is a sure-fire way to guarantee that nothing is properly addressed.

Keep the conversation focused on the main issue, and save other frustrations for a different time.

"Not every frustration needs to be raised in the moment. If something is building, choose a calm time to talk about it rather than reacting mid-conflict," Ferrari advises.

If things do start to escalate, Janssen suggests stepping away to reset before continuing the discussion.

"You might even establish a 'code word' or a simple phrase like 'I'm just going to the bathroom' to signal a need for a brief breather."

Be mindful of booze

Alcohol isn't always the root of relationship issues, though it can certainly make them a nightmare to manage.

Ferrari says holiday periods often carry a lot of intensity, and with booze in the mix, filters are lowered and emotional regulation impaired.

"That can mean frustrations that have been simmering for weeks or months suddenly come out more bluntly or aggressively."

And if a few drinks regularly lead to fights, it's worth addressing.

"You can do this by gently stating how you feel about alcohol, what you might need and being open to suggestions from your partner," Janssen says.

Consider professional help

Spending several days together makes it difficult to sweep problems under the rug, which explains why family lawyers consistently see a spike in new clients after public holidays.

Principal at Tiyce & Lawyers Family Law Specialists, Michael Tiyce, says that time away from daily routines can serve as a tipping point – leading many to realise "they have had enough and want out."

If things are on edge, he says it pays to recognise the need for extra support.

"If you are already experiencing tension, seek help as there are many professional services that couples can consult, either individually or together."

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