Money Manners: 'How do I approach a friend I'm constantly paying for/covering for?'

Money Manners is Honey Money's weekly column that deals with money etiquette matters that can be the cause of many an awkward encounter.

Submit your Money Manners questions to Jo Abi at jabi@nine.com.au

This week's question comes via *Milly who is facing an awkward friendship moment thanks to a money issue.

Dilemma: 'How do I approach a friend I'm constantly paying for/covering for?'

I went away with a mate a few years ago and the first night I grabbed dinner after she did not offer, even though I paid petrol, which was... whatever. However the next night when it was theoretically her turn to pay she suggest we cook something at home.

READ MORE: Ricki Lake opens up about finding new love

The following night she suggested we eat out and again, I paid and on the way out that evening she even bragged about how she was earning three times as more than me. During our trip she kept on purchasing gifts for herself but she wasn't willing to pay for a movie, to go to the arcade, anything.

She's still like this, and it makes me not want to hang out with her.

READ MORE: The best Amazon deals you can get this August

How do I approach her to discuss this issue? It seems so silly and unfair. Does she know what she's doing?

Advice: 'Change of venue and then perhaps a change of friendship'

I'm going to start by saying I trust your judgement when it comes to the fact you are still friends with this person. I suspect she knows exactly what she's doing. She's taking advantage of your generosity.

She seems to regard her wants, needs and money as of more value than yours, which is outrageous.

I can't imagine that during a time of hardship she is going to be one of the friends racing to your side to offer help and support.

That being said, there are different tiers of friendships. There are first-tier friendships, and second-tier friendships. There are those who are part of your inner circle, your souls are connected and you are so on the same page keeping things even and balanced comes naturally.

Then there are those friends like yours, whom you have been friends with for years and even enjoy their company, but it comes with this baggage of awkwardness around money and a feeling they are taking advantage of you.

If your aim is to maintain the closeness of this friendship, you do need to address this. If she is a real friend, she will listen to you and join you in wanting to find a solution.

Hopefully she is clueless as to what she has been doing (although I highly doubt it) and as a gesture, pays for whatever you are consuming that day!

If you suspect she won't react well to this, then don't ever bother. She is no longer a first-tier friend, she is a second-tier friend.

That means you see her when you feel like it or when she reaches out and you always, always choose a venue in which you order and pay separately.

And if she reaches for a piece of your food, slap her hand away and tell her to get her own.

The information provided on this website is general in nature only and does not constitute personal financial advice. The information has been prepared without taking into account your personal objectives, financial situation or needs. Before acting on any information on this website you should consider the appropriateness of the information having regard to your objectives, financial situation and needs.