Married At First Sight recap, Episode 27: A tragic breakup and a must-see tease

I'm sorry, what just happened? I was not supposed to be a crying mess by the end of this episode. Everything was supposed to be happy and carefree! Instead, everything is horrible!

It's our last Married At First Sight episode before the reunion special. If you thought Monday night's episode lacked a certain pizzazz, WELL here. you. go.

My heart has been broken, and I don't think I'll recover.

RELATED: Read 9Honey's full recap of Married At First Sight's Episode 26

Let's start with the only good thing worth clinging to in this cruel, cruel world:

ALENE & SIMON
Alene goes to visit Simon in Ipswich and immediately starts poking his face.

Although Simon's not ready to commit a time where he will move to Sydney, he's totally going to do it. And he says his feelings for Alene have "grown a hell of a lot more" since the experiment ended.

This is good!

"I'm glad to see that they haven't fizzled, haven't died," Alene tells him. "My biggest fear was that the distance relationship would ruin and weaken things, but it hasn't! It's making us stronger."

Never change, you two. Never change!

SHARON & NICK
Nick is still grappling with the fact that his father has possibly been diagnosed with an incurable disease, ALS.

"I haven't researched it because I don't want to think about the fact that I might be losing my father," he tells us.

This also means that he'll need to stay in Melbourne with his dad, instead of moving to Perth to be with Sharon, as planned. So she flies to Melbourne to talk through everything with him and see if they can find a new solution.

"I'm really nervous about the fact that I am the one most likely to have to move to Melbourne," Sharon says. To help, she makes a to-do list of everything shifting her life across the country would involve. It's a lot.

But Nick offers to help her pack up all her furniture and drive her car from Perth. He even suggests they could maybe buy a house in Melbourne together!

"I'm 99.9 percent confident I'll move for you," she ultimately decides. "And start a little life with you in Melbourne as a little trial."

And….she says "I love you"!!

ANTHONY & NADIA
Now we visit Mr. 'I'm Having Second Thoughts' Anthony. Nadia has flown to Sydney to find out what his deal is and see if she should be concerned. (She should.)

"He can't be taking me for granted," she tells us. "If he does want me, he's got to show me."

After praising her "glam" look, Anthony escorts Nadia into his horse-themed apartment where they stand awkwardly in his kitchen and discuss their problems. Or rather, they decide they'll deal with their problems later.

"How long do you wait to fall in love?" Anthony asks us, eyes wide with not-quite-despair.

He decides to take Nadia out on a mystery date to see if he can drum up some feelings for her. But he's already annoyed that she's getting "overdressed".

"You would dress up to the opening of an envelope," he tells her haughtily.

The date turns out to be just them sitting on a patch of grass by the harbour where Anthony tries really hard to convince her NOT to move to Sydney.

"I felt like her day-to-day life issues – which we all deal with – are then my issues," he tells us, disgusted.

UM, YES. That is basically the entire point of a relationship!

"I know you have a little bit of family, but you don't have a lot of support outside me," he then lectures her. "It puts a lot of pressure on me to be readily available when you need it."

Again, this is the ENTIRE POINT of being in a relationship! To have a support system! A pillar of strength! And to be that for someone else!

Wisely, Nadia is hedging her bets and tells us, "I'm not going to fall to pieces if he's not around."

But, then she says...

"I don't see any real reason for us not to be together at this point."

Nothing lines up and nothing makes sense!

ANDY & VANESSA
Well, it is now obvious that these two are the source of tonight's heartbreak. Perhaps it shouldn't have come as a surprise, but boy did it hit right in the gut.

We had a good run, my introvert and extrovert friend.

You see, after Andy consults with his inexplicably angry mate Tommo and she with her inexplicably soft-spoken dad, Vanessa files to the Gold Coast. And we get the saddest breakup scene in MAFS history.

"The problem I see, is me not being adequate enough for your needs," Andy tells her as they sit on a picnic bench by the water. "That's how I see it."

The sky is cloudy and foreboding. The air is thick with tension.

And then she drops the not-so-new news: "[Your personality] is just not what I'm looking for in a relationship...It's so hard to say that, but it's true."

But don't go hating on her just yet! This is all obviously very difficult for both parties, and she truly wants him to be happy.

"Although I'm initiating it, I want someone who appreciates you for who you are because I don't think being quiet is a bad trait," she says. "It's just not what I'm looking for in a relationship. And it's unfair for me to ask you to be those things. I don't want you to change for me. And that's why I'm still single at 31."

"Is that it then?" he says finally.

"Yeah, there's nothing more to discuss," she says.

And then she starts sobbing as he walks her down to the water to push her in comfort her.

"I've been there before," he says. "I'm good at being alone."

HEARTBROKEN. (In fact, so heartbroken I wrote a whole piece on this breakup over at TheFIX.)

Fortunately, that must-see tease I promised is here to cheer everyone up…

NEXT TIME: Reunion! Lauren! Cheryl! Scarlett! Debbie! Entrepreneur Jonathan! Jonesy! The gang's all here!

LAUREN CALLS JONESY A 'COCKY LITTLE PRICK'!

AND they make Cheryl sit between her two men!

ANDDDDD the experts finally confront Jonesy about the boys' night!

Catch a new episode of Married At First Sight Sunday night on Nine (and tweet me your thoughts @AshleyySpencer). For more on MAFS, including exclusive clips and fun bites, head to 9Now.