The three words that are enough to fill parents with dread
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Opinion: The school run. Those three words are enough to fill parents with dread.
Before I had kids, I remember listening to the radio on the way to work as the hosts discussed daily stress and invited listeners to call in with examples. “Getting my kids out the door and to school each day,” said one caller.
The school run is the most stressful part of a parent's day. Pixdeluxe
“Hmph,” I scoffed. “That woman doesn’t know stress,” I thought.
Fast-forward a decade or more, and I soon learned what real stress was – and she was right.
Parents everywhere will tell you the most stressful part of their day is getting the kids out the door and safely at school before heading to the office to start their real job.
By the time you arrive and collapse in your chair, you’ve already lived three lives while your childless co-workers have been ‘selfishly’ going about their morning, maybe fitting in some exercise, and picking up a latte as they enjoy a leisurely commute to work.
Meanwhile, the rest of us rose early, not to fit in a quick workout but to pack school lunches that won’t get eaten, hastily spread Vegemite on toast, iron uniforms, find that missing sock, look for the home reader and last night’s homework, remind yourself what day it is so you know what extra things to pack − I lost count of how many times I forgot the pack the library bag or sent my kids to school without their PE clothes − got everyone in the car and drove to school before fighting to find a park or joining the world’s longest queue in the drop-off lane.
You arrive at work, usually late, a sweaty mess, with stains on your clothes, while your coworkers look at you with a mix of disdain (“She’s late again”) and pity (“Doesn’t she own a hair straightener?“).
And it seems the school run, and parents’ collective stress around it, is universal, affecting everyone from a prince to a pauper.
Even Prince William faces chaos getting Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis to school. Getty
Case in point: last week, the Prince of Wales was appearing on the Heart Breakfast radio show when attention turned to the morning school run.
Asked by the show’s co-host Amanda Holden if the morning school run with his and Catherine’s three children, Prince George, 12, Princess Charlotte, 11, and Prince Louis, eight, was “chaotic, like most people’s school runs in the morning?“, William laughed and replied, “It can be”.
“It depends if there’s a guitar lesson or a music lesson [and] you’ve got to get the guitar in the car. ‘No, we’re not taking the guitar’,” he said.
“‘Are we boarding?’ ‘No we’re not?’ ‘Are we seeing friends?’ ‘No, we’re not.’ So there’s all that going on in the morning.”
“I’m hoping that the children are on their way to school,” he continued, before adding, “Charlotte and Louis, if you’re listening, make sure you’re on time please, make sure you’re not fighting over who listens to what this morning.”
Parents often feel like they have worked a full day before they arrive at work. iStock
While William’s revelation that he too knows the stress of the school run was ridiculed by some in the British press – The Independent took a cheap shot at the future king for trying too hard to be relatable – I wasn’t having it.
I personally loved William’s candour about Louis leaving sticky fingerprints all over their car from the snacks the royal children consume while on route from school to extracurricular activities.
Don’t even get me started on the afternoon version of the school run. My children were usually the last to be picked up from after-school care − cue the mum guilt.
On the days I didn’t work, I fought for a parking spot within a kilometre from school then trekked to the gates to meet my children and begin the afternoon version of the school run, complete with costume changes, snacks and after-school activities, sometimes two.
And the good news: Once you got home, cooked dinner, did homework, (even Kindergarteners have to read a book each night and learn their sight words), did a load of washing, oversaw bath time, and got them into bed, your reward was to do it all again the next day.
No wonder 59 per cent of Aussie parents find the back-to-school period each year stressful, according to a YouGov poll conducted for HP Australia.
Of the 1039 Aussie parents of children aged five to 17 surveyed, almost half said the school run felt even more stressful this year than previous years.
Leading child psychologist Deirdre Brandner says the findings reflected what many families experienced, especially at the start of a new school year.
The afternoon pick-up can be almost as stressful for parents. iStockphoto
“In the weeks leading into the school year, I see a predictable rise in stress, not just in children, but in parents as well,” she said.
Brandner has a number of tips to help the school run go more smoothly, including setting the tone for a calm morning by preparing school bags, uniforms and lunches the night before and getting children involved in improving the mornings by using printed planners, colour-coded timetables, reminders and consistent bag routines.
She also warned “over-managing” children’s routines in the morning, such as shouting constant reminders, could increase stress and resistance among children.
While my school-run days might now be over, the years of stress they caused me is firmly entrenched in my DNA, just as I guess it will be for Prince William, and millions of other parents all over the world.
