‘No trace’: Private investigator reveals unlikely app people are using to cheat

Exclusive: A private investigator has revealed the one simple phone app partners are turning to hide infidelity and communicate with their illegitimate lovers.

Queensland-based Cassie Crofts said, although she wouldn’t recommend snooping through your partner’s phone, the main way cheaters are getting caught was by the notes app in their mobile.

“These days, people use the Notes app to cheat,” Crofts said.

“There’s this ability ... most people aren’t aware of, you can share a note with someone. Basically, you could go in [to the app], send the note to someone’s Apple ID, [creating] a shared note with them.

“You guys can write messages to each other in there. Once they’ve been read, you delete them ... there’s no trace of what’s going on.”

Aside from phone-related signs of cheating, like changing their password, Crofts said there are also behavioural signs that are “a bit more subtle” and can indicate something is going on.

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“One is if they’re like sort of more of an Apple Pay person and they start using cash a lot, that’s quite often a sign they’re buying some things or booking some hotel rooms that they don’t want showing up on any joint account.”

“Generally, if there’s a really big change to their hobbies or their music taste, sometimes that can be a sign.

“If you used to have to drag them to the beach, and suddenly, they’re surfing at Cronulla every weekend, it’s a bit unusual.”

Crofts said a partner’s friends “acting different around you” can be a red flag, too.

“If they’re not meeting your eye, not engaging as much, it might be because they know something is going on.”

Another unusual habit investigators have seen among men who are cheating is an obsession with keeping their car clean.

“Usually, it’s a toxic dump of old coffee cups, energy drinks and [fast food] packets; then suddenly it’s spotless,” Crofts said.

“Quite often that’s because they’re picking someone up or trying to impress someone with their car.”

When it comes to how accurate client suspicions are, Crofts estimates three-quarters of the women who reach out to her with fears their partner is cheating are usually correct.

“Women are very intuitive, we have pretty good gut instincts,” she said.

“I think if you’ve gotten to the point where you’re willing to invest the money in a private investigator ... you’re normally pretty sure at that point that they’re cheating, you just need hard proof.”

Of course, not everyone is right. Crofts said people who have been cheated on in the past are more likely to wrongly suspect cheating in a new relationship.

“There was one we had recently; this woman thought the partner was cheating. She’d given me a lot of information. We’re going through the steps. We decided to actually do actual on-the-ground surveillance,” she said.

“We did that, but one thing she hadn’t told me was that his mother had just been moved into a nursing home and was very sick. It turned out the times he wasn’t there. He was going to the nursing home.”

White Crofts mostly deals with female clients, she’s realised cheating is not gender-specific.

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“Men cheat, women cheat, everyone has the potential,” she said, adding women “tend to read the signs better when cheating is happening.”

Crofts stressed there are usually red flags at the start of a relationship that women need to be on the lookout for, including love-bombing and open insecurity.

“In a lot of these cases ... these people probably weren’t going to be good partners, cheating aside,” she said.

“If you can catch red flags before you catch feelings, you’re much more likely to be able to leave that person.”

These red flags can include your partner being “really intense” at the start of a relationship, like wanting to know where you are and what you’re doing all the time.

“Anyone who has more than ... one crazy ex to tell you about, generally, there’s a common denominator there. And it’s not the ex-girlfriends,” Crofts said.

“We do have had some cases where people have come to me for court histories and things like that of people where there’s domestic violence orders in place and there’s always an excuse for why that happened. 

“You’ve just got to be really careful if you’re going to listen to those stories.”

Crofts and her company Venus Investigations have shifted to doing dating background checks so women can go on dates knowing they’ll be safe.

Support is available from the National Sexual Assault, Domestic and Family Violence Counselling Service at 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732).