Get Nicked: Lion thieves, Microsoft Excel and political correctness

In 2015 Donald Trump famously declared there was a problem with "political correctness" in America.

And three years later, it seems the big problem is that people can't do it right even when they try.

Take West Virginia senate candidate Don Blankenship.

The coal magnate is running a big-spending, quixotic campaign for the seat, even though he lives in Las Vegas, which is on the other side of the country.

It's a brazen run given he was jailed only a few years ago in relation to a coal mine explosion that killed 29 people.

But he's throwing elbows, accusing Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell of being tainted in foreign affairs issues because his father-in-law is a "wealthy Chinaperson".

Yep, a "Chinaperson".

Way to combine 19^th Century racism with 21^st Century gender neutrality.

Lion thief

Police are looking for a man who robbed a Melbourne store while dressed in a lion onesie.

And Get Nicked doesn't want to enforce a police state attitude to the criminal element, but seriously, who wears onesies any more.

They were all hip and cool in 2013, but so was Miley Cyrus.

The thief stole four tablet computers, an iPhone, a camera, a hair straightener and chocolates.

Surveillance footage of the thug and his accomplice showed he had tucked his onesie into his socks.

There should be additional charges for that crime against fashion.

Sassy software

Are there two words in the English language more boring than Microsoft Excel?

The best Powerpoint presentation can reach the heights of "sometimes engaging", but Excel documents are, without fail, always boring.

Which is why it is so weird that the Microsoft Excel Twitter account actually has some sass.

Not a lot of sass. Just some. Just a little.

Be warned. This whole Twitter exchange is peak 2018.

First, the man who happens to be exceptionally talented at one part of life and thoroughly delusional in every other aspect, Kanye West, started with this bit of craziness.

Then this happened:

And then the official account for Microsoft Excel chimed in:

Wu-Tang Financial, by the way, is a Twitter account that blends gangsta culture with observations about the financial markets.

And if you're surprised that's a thing, you aren't spending enough time on the internet.

Nihilistic headlines

There's two ways of writing about the weather.

There's the using every cliché in the book, dropping in words like "sweltering" and "scorcher" to try to jazz up a story which is essentially just numbers.

Or you can go the other way entirely.

You can allow your daily forecast to be a reflection of your King Lear-style descent into wintery madness.

And if you have a forceful enough personality, the sub-editor will stand aside as it goes live for all to see.

Such is the case for Trevor Robb at the Edmonton Journal.

It's pretty hard to write about weather when it is nothing but snow and cold for months at a time.
Edmonton isn't at risk of a hurricane or a fire-tornado. It is what it is.

And the headlines are raising more questions than they answer. Namely, is this guy okay?

Lest we ever complain about drizzle again.