'Of course, I'm angry': Widow of Holocaust survivor killed in Bondi terror attack while shielding wife shares her grief

Larisa Kleytman spent almost 60 years by her husband's side, so a month without him feels like a lifetime.

"It is so quiet. It's killing me. This one killing me, it's so quiet," Larisa told A Current Affair.

"I am alone now, that's it. I have to survive, I have to live for my kids and grandkids."

READ MORE: Meet the volunteers turning mourning into memory after the Bondi terror attack

Alex Kleytman, a Holocaust survivor, was killed during the Bondi terror attack.

He died protecting his wife. Larisa says it was a love loyal until the very end.

"We met each other in 1968," she said.

"For 57 years we never have any argument."

Alex was born in the Soviet Union and was just a baby when WWII began.

Along with his mother and younger brother, Alex survived the Holocaust in Siberia.

A young Alex and Larisa eventually married and moved to Australia for a better life.

With two children and 11 grandchildren, they made a beautiful life together.

"Oh he was absolutely crazy grandfather...He was so proud about his kids," she recalled.

It was a special event on the Jewish Calendar where their safe life in Australia was shattered - a Hanukkah celebration at Bondi Beach on December 14.

"We saw it's not fireworks, it's just bullets going and somebody shout lay, everybody just lay," she recalled.

"I can't lay so I push myself on the knee, push my head under the chair. Suddenly I hear like, 'Ahh!' from his voice and he fall in front of me."

Larisa believes Alex was shielding her from bullets when he was shot.

"15 people dead. Of course I'm angry," she said.

Larisa pushed through overwhelming grief and tried to stay busy.

"It was like robot - I just do, I just do, I try not push any feeling because if I will, I will be sitting in [shock] and do nothing," she said.

Larisa has since received a personal letter from Buckingham Palace.

"It's unbelievable, unbelievable to receive letter from King - all this all for him, not just letter, it was very personal," she said.

Though, the widow says she has not heard from the prime minister.

"I don't want to, I don't trust him," Larisa said.

"He tell how he was doing everything. He has doing nothing. He has to protect every people, not just Jewish. He has to protect everybody."

After a painful month of her life, it's community that keeps Larissa going.

"People I never saw before in my life. They came, they just speak with me. They bring food, they bring anything."

Larisa hopes the terror attack sparks change.

"They have to be feeling safe. I don't think it's right when in synagogue - four policemen and guns. It's not right. We should feel free, like everybody else," she said.

Ultimately, she said, it's a painful moment in our history we can never forget.

"It's horrible memory but Australia have to remember what has happened."