Four things to do on a whirlwind weekend in Melbourne

I've lived in Sydney more than 10 years, meaning it's become my duty to stick the boot into the lesser city Melbourne at every possible opportunity.

But friendly rivalry aside, I love Melbourne: it's a vibrant, friendly city with a distinct energy and charm even if it's a lacking any decent landmarks like a harbour, an opera house or a bridge (kidding).

My home base for my whirlwind weekend was the Adina Apartment Hotel, located on Queen Street in the middle of the CBD, meaning tourist go-tos like Federation Square, Bourke Street Mall, Southbank, and the major stadiums are close by.

The advantage of Adina's serviced apartment is that it combines all the great things about a straight-up hotel and an Airbnb — you get the inviting fireplace lobby (with complimentary hot chocolate and marshmallows) and an in-room laundry (perfect if you're prone to spilling food down your white shirts).

Here's how I filled my 48-hours in Melbourne with…

Mini-golf

Holey Moley Golf Club recently opened in Sydney — so it made sense to me to visit the one in Melbourne while there. My brain specialises in this kind of dumb logic.

Wherever you visit Holey Moley (it's also in Brisbane and Adelaide), it's highly recommended. Remember seeing those epic, zany, Rube Goldberg-esque putt-putt courses on American TV shows back in the day, and wishing they existed in Australia? Well, now they do, and they're super fun.

Warning: When my golfing companion and I arrived to play at 2pm on a Friday, the place was crowded, and more notably, almost everyone there seemed tanked. Which is not a complaint — it simply inspired us to play fast rounds of cocktail catch-up at the Caddyshack Bar.

The espresso martini, Heavenly Hazelputt and the pun-tastically named Happy Gilmoreo are all good choices, FYI.

Coffee

"Which has the best coffee?" is one of the hotly contested points of the Sydney vs. Melbourne war — and it's time for both sides to concede we have equally excellent caffeine sources.

For a straight-up quality brew head to Tom Thumb, a hole-in-the-wall on Flinders Lane which was hands-down the best flat white I enjoyed in Melbourne, and I am addicted to coffee, so I had a lot of them.

For coffee and a sweet treat, venture out to Richmond to Hellas Cakes, a Greek bakery where you must order the kataifi. You'll have no trouble spotting it in the display case: It looks less like a cake and more like a giant, hairy, weird caterpillar. But it's good.

For charm, take a seat in Degraves Street — the undisputed ruler of those laneways Melburnians love to boast about.

You're guaranteed some quality people-watching anywhere you choose but I was particularly taken by Quarter, a book-stacked cafe resembling a set from a Harry Potter movie.

Culture

As the locals are fond of informing you, Melbourne is the culture capital of Australia (which is true, although it's not like there's a lot of competition).

The city is always hosting an exhibition or 10, and I visited the Australian Centre for the Moving Image (ACMI) on Federation Square to explore Wallace & Gromit and Friends: The Magic of Aardman.

That particular exhibition runs until October 29, 2017, and the City of Melbourne offers plenty of other suggestions for the culturally minded.

Eat

Melbourne is, without question, Australia's food capital. Sydney does great food (and I think our wellness and cafe culture is better), but Melbourne's foodie scene just feels like a more serious business.

Hey, it's colder down there — gotta spend those winters doing something, and it may as well be eating.

There is no shortage of fine dining in Melbourne, fine in the sense of both "posh" and "just good quality food", and my destination was Supernormal in Flinders Lane.

This Asian-inspired hotspot has a relaxed yet upmarket vibe and the $65 set menu is a great (and extremely filling) taster if you can't decide what to eat.

Must-try: the cocktail menu's Umeshu Spritz, prepared with a traditional Japanese liqueur.

Wherever you go, do your Googling and make reservations before you venture down — as one weary restaurant owner told me when I tried to hustle a last-minute booking by phone, "It's Melbourne and it's Friday, you're not going to have much luck just wandering in."