This is what no-one tells you about life after a double mastectomy

Exclusive: At 72, Faye Browne says she can finally talk about losing both her breasts without crying.

There was a time she found herself looking at her reflection and thinking, “Shit. How am I going to love this body of mine? How am I going to fall in love with it again when I look like this?”

Cancer was a shock.

The co-founder of Australian label Motto Fashions had regular mammograms and checked her breasts for years before she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

But she had been searching for one specific sign: a lump. Her cancer, however, revealed itself very differently.

“What I hadn’t noticed was that one breast had started to look bigger, fuller and perkier, while the other looked smaller and a little saggier,” she tells nine.com.au.

“At the time, I didn’t recognise that as something to be concerned about.”

The cancer wasn’t detected on her mammogram either. Positioned deep against her chest wall, the growth went unnoticed until it had already spread to the lymph nodes in her armpit.

Once she knew it was there, she wanted it gone immediately.

Browne had a double mastectomy and resolved on implants right away, later summing up the decision as “Two off, two on”.

Yet, it was only after surgery that she realised the full emotional weight of losing her breasts, and how deeply it affected her sense of self.

“Once they were off, I just had these bumps of ribcage. I remember looking in the mirror one day and going, ‘Oh my God’. I was so thin, I was grey, I wasn’t a pretty sight.”

By then she had also lost a lot of weight, as well as her hair, eyelashes and eyebrows.

She knew having breasts wasn’t what made her a woman, yet losing them still challenged how she felt in her own skin.

“With that came a desire to reconnect with my femininity and feel comfortable and confident in my body again.

“For me, personally, [breast] reconstruction was part of that journey. It wasn’t about anyone else or how I thought I should look – it was about feeling like myself again.”

She also found herself wondering how her husband would react to her body after surgery.

“He’s a beautiful man, and we have a wonderful family, but I remember thinking, ‘What is he going to think when he sees how different my body looks?’”

His reaction was never the problem she feared it might be. She says he was fantastic throughout the journey.

“I was actually the one who felt uncomfortable, and I think that’s important. You have to work through how you feel within yourself, and that really is a journey.”

Reclaiming her style became a crucial part of recovery: Putting on makeup, dressing in clothes she loved and reaching for her highest heels helped her reconnect with her old self.

“It wasn’t about vanity, it was about doing whatever I could to feel special, confident and beautiful during an incredibly difficult time.”

She says it took years before she could talk about her cancer without tearing up.

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“Now I can look at the good that came from it: The things I’ve learnt, the people I’ve met, the opportunity to help others and, of course, getting to immerse myself in fashion.”

Her experience has also changed the way she thinks about breast checks.

Browne still recommends regular screening, but says women should also pay attention to changes in how their breasts look and feel.

“My experience taught me to know what’s normal for your body and pay attention to any changes, not just lumps. Look, feel and take notice when something seems different.”