'My wife urged me to get help': Former AFL player Wayne Schwass on his battle with depression

Former AFL player Wayne Schwass is the first to admit he's made "a lot of mistakes".

As one of only a few New Zealand-born players of Māori heritage, Schwass, 51, enjoyed an incredible career spanning two decades, including playing in the Kangaroo's 1996 premiership side and becoming a leader in the Sydney Swans side.

The first time Schwass opened up about his battle with depression was in 2006, and that was the beginning of an almost-25-year journey to mental wellness.

Who can forget when he posted a photo on Twitter showing him celebrating after receiving his 1996 premiership medallion along with the caption "This is what suicidal looks like.

"I was diagnosed in 1993 but when I look back it was probably four or five years leading up to being diagnosed of periods of overwhelming sadness, like a mist," he tells 9Honey. "I didn't know what they were, and I didn't know what to identify them as.

"Then for no apparent reason they would disappear."

It was his wife Rachel who urged him to seek help from a doctor, but it would take years for Schwass to be ready to do the work that needed to be done.

Now he has dedicated his life to helping others through his foundation PukaUp, with a mission to "create the environments for every person to have authentic and genuine conversations about mental health and emotional wellbeing."

While his focus is on male mental health and helping Aussie men to become more "open and honest" about their challenges and feelings, PukaUp is for everyone.

Schwass is speaking to 9Honey for World Mental Health Day on September 10 and to launch a new season of his popular podcast of the same name, which has been created in partnership with AIA Vitality.

The podcast aims to "educate and assist listeners on their journey to better know and improve their mental wellbeing", particularly during what has been a challenging year for all due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Schwass talks about mental wellness as a group effort, with everyone looking after each other.

"If you are worried about a family member or a friend it's not our job to fix or solve anything," he says. "We don't have the expertise.

"Our primary role is to support that person, to listen with no judgement, to invite them to come into a space to share whatever they want to share and to not judge or criticise."

The next step, Schwass says, is to ask that person how you can support them, whether that means taking them to a doctor and waiting with them or continuing to support them as best you can.

"I've done a lot of work in this space and I've facilitated a lot of conversations with people in my life and it's about connection and maintaining hope and supporting with no judgement and prioritising well-being."

Schwass and wife Rachel have three children - twin daughters Indigo and Tameka, 17, and son Kai, 13 - and he encourages parents to provide the same safe space for their children regardless of gender.

He urges parents to avoid "conditioning" sons to "toughen up" while accepting daughters' emotions without question.

"We need to make sure we are giving our sons the same response as we do with our daughters," he says. "If all of our children are empowered at home to be emotionally connected, then that gives them a tool box and a capacity to be proactive about their mental health for the rest of their lives."

Subscribe to the latest season of the PukaUp podcast via your favourite podcast app.

If you or someone you know is in need of support contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Men's Helpline on 1300 789 978.