'A decade ago I was fearful I'd never love again and then I met the love of my life'

As the clock ticks over to 2020 there's a trend on Instagram where everyone is reflecting on their past decade. Successes, failures and most importantly lessons.

For me this split photo sums up my decade – it turns out blondes don't have more fun. Well, not for me anyway!

LOVE

A decade ago I was five years post-divorce, lonely and fearful I'd never fall in love again. 

I dated the wrong guy many times and sometimes it meant nothing while others cut to the bone and caused snot bubbles of grief. 

Luckily, it was only a few years later that I walked into to the right bar at the right time and met Darren, the love of my life. Everything is better with him. Everything. 

Married Darren in Mexico with 40 of our favourite people. Just magical.

We rescued two puppies, Mr Barkley and Bella, who have made our version of family compete. 

WORK

I was working as a gossip columnist which was surprisingly fun and doing three spots a week on Channel 7 but I was afraid I would never reach my goal of hosting a TV show. 

I finally had one too many terrible bosses and that prompted me to address my problem with authority. The answer? Become my own boss! 

Launching ShellShocked Media was the hardest and best decision Darren and I have ever made. I hope to manage my workaholic tendencies better next decade. It's been hard slog and not many weekends off. Did I mention it's hard work? Anyone with their own business will understand. Most small businesses fail in the first year but we're about to hit four years with an average of 25 per cent growth in income each year so that is bloody satisfying. 

I was headhunted to Channel 9 and was terrified but it opened a whole new range of opportunities including co-hosting a TV show.

I now do TV, online, radio, media training, video content, MCing, podcasts and keynote speeches – sometimes all in the same week. It's a hectic but strangely perfect mix. 

PERSONAL

I lost 10kgs one year then put on 10kg the next year pretty much as clockwork for 10 years. I over exercised, under exercised, over ate, fasted, had lap banding then had it removed. Had lipo and fat freezing. Honestly, my weight battle is exhausting. Something I'm still working on. I hope I'm kinder to myself in the next decade. 

I had spinal surgery which was a mind f*** when you think about someone slicing into your spine and yet worked a treat. 

Had my first anxiety attack. But after I fell to bits for a bit, I had a friend congratulate me for only having one considering the pace I work at and the industry I chose. Her words flipped the way I think about it from a negative to a positive.

I outed myself as childfree by choice and over the last decade have seen people's reactions to that decision go from disgust and confusion to support and a celebration of choice. 

My true friends have stayed the same. Rather than a big circle of friends I have a few small, tight circles from very different parts of my life. I rarely bring them all together at once, but I love them all deeply. 

TRAVEL

This deserves its own section because travel fills my soul. In the last 10 years I've travelled to 24 countries (18 with Darren in the past seven years) bringing my total to 52 countries.

They include South America, Chile, South Africa, New Caledonia, America (x4), Fiji (x2), Mexico, Cuba, Bahamas, Iceland, UK, Abu Dhabi, Jordan, Israel, Cook Islands, Italy (x2), Greece (x2), Spain, Indonesia (x4), New Zealand (x3), Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Hong Kong.

Next year, Maldives is on the list. Send me your recommendations.

So, what would I say to that blonde on the left? Well I was on my way to the MTV Awards in Los Angeles, so I'd say don't get so drunk you fall over in front of Leonardo DiCaprio. You idiot.

But besides that, you did well kid.

Maybe work a bit less. Taking a weekend off doesn't mean you've taken your foot off the accelerator. Your body needs rest too.

My motto for 2020 is 'don't wait to be picked' so I'm making The Shelly Show online and creating my own opportunities. I've been dreaming about it for 20 years so 2020 seems the perfect time to do it. Oh, and I now own a video production company, so no excuses!

Beyond that?

Hey redhead, let's kick this next decade out of the park!