Text message brings 'instant sadness' for long-distance couple: 'The news you never want to hear'

Ross and I had been in a long-distance relationship for just a year. I was in Sydney and he was in Canberra.

Getting text messages from Ross always brought joy and excitement, however when the message "I have prostate cancer" came up on my screen, it brought instant sadness, worry, and a feeling I needed to be by his side.

It's the news you never want to hear and can never prepare for. I knew straight away I would do everything to go the distance for Ross.

I packed up my life as I knew it and moved to Canberra to be with him and provide support, attending his specialist appointments so we could navigate the diagnosis together and make difficult decisions on which treatment pathway to take.

It's such a confusing and complex disease.

I wanted so badly to be the rock he needed and will always give him everything I've got.

The statistics on prostate cancer in Australia also shocked me. Until Ross was diagnosed I had no idea 10 men a day die from the disease every day.

The estimated number of men diagnosed daily recently jumped from 49 to 66, making it Australia's most common cancer ahead of breast cancer.

I soon learned from PCFA (Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia) that the number of men living with the disease is going to grow by 43 per cent by 2040, from over 240,000 to 372,000

It's a disease that has deeply impacted us.

There's a misconception it's an old man's disease. That's possibly because the risk of getting prostate cancer greatly increases with age – more than 3,500 men of the men diagnosed are aged 59 or younger.

The fact is, it's not an old man's disease. It is a disease men endure silently, because of the impacts of treatment, which can result in lifelong side-effects such as erectile dysfunction and incontinence.

Ross underwent an invasive radical prostatectomy. It was easily the longest day I've ever had to endure, sitting and waiting anxiously to learn any news.

When he woke up in recovery, he was very quiet. It took days for him to fully comprehend what was happening.

Since then, we've both been trying to adjust as best we can to the side-effects of surgery, which causes a range of ongoing complications

He never complains and doesn't let it get to him. I admire his strength so much. If it was me, I'd be complaining full-time and going crazy.

As his partner, I know I play an important role in making sure Ross follows the doctor's orders, monitoring his PSA (prostate-specific antigen) level to make sure the cancer never comes back.

We still feel nervous every time he goes for a check-up, we both know how lucky Ross is that it was detected early and treated.

Although we have never spoken publicly about the long-term impacts, both of us will do anything we can to help find answers to his situation

That's why I'm sharing our story, as an ambassador for Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia's work for The Long Run campaign. That's also why I'm supporting Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia for Prostate Cancer Awareness Month this September.

One of the things which helped get me through that early phase of his diagnosis was taking part in PCFA's campaign for The Long Run, knowing I was making a difference to help find a way of preventing prostate cancer one day and treating it more effectively, so men don't have to continue suffering in silence.

I know there are so many other couples out there, just like us, who will want to get involved too, and understand the difference we can make.

The campaign has also brought us closer together. We're wheeling in it together on our bikes. Ross is already doing about 60 kilometres a day, which is incredible, and he's set a target of 1,200 kiloemetres in one month September.

I'm with him all the way and always will be. We're proud to support the work of PCFA to make prostate cancer history in the long run.

For Ross and all other men who have felt the pain of prostate cancer.

Katrina Gilruth, PCFA Community Ambassador in The Long Run. Find out more by visiting the website.