Money Manners: 'Is it weird that a kid's birthday party has a wishing well?'

Money Manners is Honey Money's weekly column that deals with money etiquette matters that can be the cause of many an awkward encounter.

Submit your Money Manners questions to Jo Abi at jabi@nine.com.au

This week's question comes via a 9honey reader who is facing an unusual dilemma with her mother.

Dilemma: 'Is it weird that a kid's birthday party has a wishing well?'

I have been invited to a friend's son's birthday party. He is turning nine. On the invite she asked for cash as gifts for him instead of presents, but I don't really like this.

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I want him to have a bunch of gifts to open on the day, but I don't want to upset her.

Would it be OK if I contribute a small amount of cash AND a gift? It's like she has set up a wishing well like the ones you see at a wedding.

Advice: 'Maybe you could do a little bit of both'

OK, confession. I, Jo Abi, have previously requested cash instead of gifts for my child's birthday. I didn't realise how controversial it would be.

I just really, really, really wanted to get a trampoline for our backyard and I couldn't afford it without help. So I came up with the genius idea of asking for contribution at my son's sixth birthday.

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Well, not cash exactly, but I asked for Toys R Us vouchers where the trampoline I had found was sold.

Some people did it, just $20 or $30 vouchers, some did a voucher and a gift and some only did a gift.

I was so focused on getting a trampoline for my kids that I forgot the part where my son would rip open all his gifts with pure joy, and I ended up being happy that some people got him gifts anyway.

Téa Angelos, founder and CEO of Smart Women Society, has weighed in on this topic, seeing as my opinion of it is so skewed.

Angelos, on behalf of Australian cashback site Cashrewards, said it's "fair to feel unsure about the cash request".

"Maybe you could do a little of both, a cash contribution as well as a small fun gift that he can open on the day," she rightly recommended.

"That way, you're respecting her wishes while also making his birthday feel extra special."

"Plus, it sounds like she's being mindful of how money is spent, so adding a thoughtful gift alongside the cash could be a nice middle ground. At the end of the day, it's about what feels right to you," Angelos added.

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