'It's time for me to step in and open my pie hole': Shelly's rallying cry for the humble meat pie

Turns out I have very strong opinions about pies. Who knew?

Look, in my defense I would not have thought about pies that much, but in true pie-in-the-face tradition pies have been in the news a lot lately.

Firstly, ABS data revealed sales for meat pies are down a dramatic 40 per cent from the peak in June 2020, and that's just bloody un-Australian.

Then Australia's best pie for 2023 was announced and – insert gagging sounds from me – it is a seafood "Fish Amok" pie from Country Cob Bakery in Victoria.

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A fish pie is about as appealing as a fish milkshake. Twelve levels of wrong.

But the story that made my crust crumble was 'The Very Official 9Honey Meat Pie Ranking', in which a fancy-pants artisan pie took out the top gong while simultaneously taking out my respect for my colleagues.

Seriously, how can a Bourke Street Bakery even taste good when it costs $8 per pie. I think the present day "Cossie Liv" (Cost of Living) influenced their taste buds.

It's time for me to step in and open my pie hole.

The humble Aussie meat pie needs to reclaim its top status. I'm a country Queensland gal, and in Kingaroy the only thing you added to a meat pie was tomato sauce.

Now, I know fancy gourmet pies, chicken pies, and curry pies have their own charm, but there's just something about a good ol' traditional meat pie that hits the spot like nothing else.

Meat pies have been a part of Aussie culture for donkey's years. They have a rich history dating back to the early days of settlement when convicts and pioneers needed a hearty, portable meal.

These pies were a staple for drovers, miners, and workers across the country, and they quickly became an Aussie icon.

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Nowadays, you can't mention Aussie meat pies without giving a nod to the good ol' footy. Whether it's the AFL or rugby, these sports just wouldn't be the same without a meat pie in hand.

It's practically a rite of passage for any true-blue Aussie sports fan. The smell of freshly baked pies wafting through the stadium, the excitement in the air, and the cheers of the crowd – there's nothing quite like it.

I was once lured by Harry's Café de Wheels Tiger pies – meat pies topped with mashed potatoes and peas. But when The Bachelor's Laurina sobbed about a date to the aforementioned venue and called them "Dirty Street Pies," it was like she declared, "The emperor has no clothes on". I realised I had never eaten Tiger Pie sober.

But let's get back to the traditional meat pie, shall we?

There's just something magical about that flaky, golden pastry that encases a piping hot filling of minced meat, onions, and a savoury gravy.

I remember my Dad telling me pie mince was all "cow's lips and a---holes", and not even that description could stop me from loving a beef pie.

It's a taste that takes you back to your childhood, to backyard barbies and family gatherings. It's a taste of home.

Plus, meat pies are the perfect grab-and-go snack! My husband is a huge fan of the 7Eleven pie traveller, which is a long rectangle meat pie designed to be eaten with one hand while you're driving. Genius.

So, my friends, let's join forces and give the humble Aussie meat pie the recognition it deserves. Let's celebrate its history, its connection to sports and culture, and its undeniable deliciousness.

Fancy fish pies may come and go, but the traditional meat pie will always hold a special place in our hearts, and our stomachs.

So, next time you're in need of a tasty treat, remember to reach for that golden pastry and relish in the classic goodness of am humble Aussie meat pie.