The decision Emilie Kiser will 'forever second guess' after three-year-old son's death

Influencer Emilie Kiser has been navigating unimaginable grief since she lost her three-year-old son in a drowning incident three months ago.

The TikTok creator's son Trigg died days after being pulled unconscious from the family's backyard pool on May 12.

His father and Emilie's husband Brady was home at the time of the incident, but Emilie was not – a decision she says she will "forever second guess".

READ MORE: 'Unimaginable': Influencer's toddler son dies days after drowning incident

Brady reportedly lost sight of Trigg while caring for their newborn Theodore.

Police reports allege that Brady placed a $25 sports bet on an NBA playoff game around the time of the incident.

Police were called to a home in Phoenix, after reports of a drowning where Trigg was found unconscious, and was given CPR until paramedics arrived.  

The toddler was rushed to hospital in a critical condition and sadly died on May 18, which was confirmed by the Maricopa County medical examiner. 

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In documents submitted to the Arizona Superior Court for Maricopa County which have since been obtained by People, Emilie wrote that the tragedy was "the most severe and emotional event I have ever experienced".

She expressed that she and Brady were "deeply concerned about the release of specific information and our ability to even start to heal".

"I was not home when this happened," she wrote. "I will forever second guess that decision, among many others."

The newly-obtained documents include Emilie's declaration from her May lawsuit in which she requested for records of Trigg's death to be kept private.

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The declaration included an emotional plea from Emilie that the courts keep records of her son's death private given her prolific online presence.

"Our love for our children has been shared and expressed worldwide, given my role as a social media personality with many 'followers' across a number of social media platforms," Emilie wrote, per People.

"Nothing we have shared as part of my profession has depicted or been intended to depict anything but deep and adoring love within our family.

"That is how is should stay forever in my mind and in the minds of all others."

Before his death, Trigg featured regularly on Emilie's TikTok and Instagram videos.

Emilie has not posted to her social media accounts since his passing.

READ MORE: Influencer files lawsuit after three-year-old son's death

Days after Trigg's death, Emilie filed legal proceedings against multiple public offices in Maricopa County in the US state of Arizona as police continue to investigate the death requesting that they keep records private.

"Emilie and her family desperately want to grieve in private, but sadly the public will not let them," the suit obtained by Rochester First read.

Emilie was reportedly granted temporary confidentiality on her declaration – which is no longer sealed – and her larger request for privacy while the court reviewed evidence.

The Red Nose Grief and Loss Support Line is available 24/7 for anyone affected by the loss of a pregnancy, stillbirth or death of a baby or child on 1300 308 307.

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