Homeschooling fail: 'Tears, tantrums and traquilizers'

The honeymoon phase is over.

Gone are the rose-coloured glasses.

Reality has hit me like a slap across the face with a wet fish.

So far homeschooling has been a b-tch!

It all started well enough.

My son and I, basking in the glow of our approval and the end of a slightly tedious assessment process, went to the local shops to stock up on supplies.

Read "I've made the difficult decision to homeschool my son"

Stationary is my passion and thankfully Philip shares my joy at the purchase of new and untainted paper and pens.

In it's state of untouched perfection, new stationary signifies hope, and potential.

We haven't stuffed up, yet.

I've joined all the Facebook homeschooling mums groups.

"This is so great Jo."

"Your son is so lucky to have you Jo."

"YOU CAN DO THIS Jo."

We had no idea what we were in for. Image: Provided

Fueled by all of the love, support and naivety, we sat down for our first maths lesson.

Don't laugh. I know I'm not good at maths, nor have I ever before expressed any willingness to be good at maths.

When it comes to homeschooling, it's just got to be done.

You know what they say. 

"It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it."

It may have been a tad ambitious to start off with common fractions, but I found myself able to solve simple fractions and I also quickly remembered how to simplify fractions.

Then I turned the page.

Improper and mixed fractions stared back at me as if to say, "This'll stuff you."

And they did.

There were tears, tantrums and tranquilizers, and that was just me.

After I finished sobbing and closed the offending text book with a decided slap, I ripped open the Mint Pattie I had purchased as my afternoon treat (that being my 'tranquilizer') and ate it in two bites.

Homeschooling can be a b-tch! Image: Provided

Sadly the Mint Pattie didn't hold the magical powers I'd hoped it would and I was left feeling completely unsatisfied and still unable to solve improper and mixed fractions.

But that's the beauty of homeschooling.

A few phone calls later and (my new favourite person) I had booked a weekly session with a local maths tutor.

Maths now being HER problem, my son and I turned to English.

We'd (I'd) chosen to study Lord of the Flies Lord of the Flies .

We'd (I'd) decided to study Lord of the Flies. Mistake. Big mistake. Images: Lord of the Flies movie stills, Columbia Pictures

Being the modern family that we are, we downloaded the movie from STAN, downloaded the audio book and downloaded the actual book as well as a study guide.

We decided to start with the movie.

I'd forgotten how dark it was.

I'd forgotten how disturbing it was.

I'd forgotten how upsetting it was.

I'd forgotten how sad it was.

Our first official homeschooling session did not go well. Image: Jo Abi with son Philip, Provided

*SPOILER ALERT* By the time Piggy died, Philip and I were feeling so bereft we found ourselves unable to finish what was our first official homeschooling session.

Sadly, there's no backing out of homeschooling now.

Let's hope the worst is behind us.

To be continued...

Subscribe to Super Mums hosted by Mel and Kel and featuring special guests who discuss parenting highs and lows. This week Mel and Kel chatted to Davina Smith.