Child's hilarious non-apology for throwing scissors at his brother

Launching scissors at someone is a terrible idea, and if you do it, you should be forced to apologise.

But when you're eight years old, there's such a thing as too much honesty in an apology note, as one US mother was reminded when she found her son Zachary's "apology" note to his brother.

In the note, which she found when cleaning out the garage, eight-year-old Zachary makes it clear that he is very sorry for throwing the scissors at Ben, because he was really aiming for their brother Chris, who he hates. A lot.

"I am sorry Ben," reads the note. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I feel like crap."

"I was trying to hit Chris. I hate Chris," he explains.

The letter is accompanied by a see-saw graph providing a visual reference for how much Zachary hates Chris and loves Ben.

Unfortunately for those of us who are into brutal, hilarious honesty about scissor-throwing, the note was deemed an unacceptable attempt at an apology, and Zachary was ordered to try again.

The note surfaced when mother Jenny Davidson found it during a clear out years later.

"My son wrote this apology when he was eight years old," she said in a Facebook post.

"My sons are all in their 20s now and we had a good laugh when we found this in the garage last week," she said.

"This is his first draft, which is hilarious now, but at the time was unacceptable."

You'll be relieved to hear that Ben was not injured, and there was no lasting fallout from Zachary's favouritism.

"The note was found 13 years after the fact and they all had a big laugh."