This was published 4 years ago

The sight in Shelly Horton's bathroom that made her 'scream like a teen in a horror film'

September 30, 2022 - 1.15am

I'm not sure if many of you know, but I have a pet snake. Actually, let me clarify that: My husband has a pet snake.

When Darren and I started dating 10 years ago, he had a pet python called Tweaky. I said to my girlfriends at the time, "Look, I just don't think I can date a guy who has a pet snake. I think it's a deal breaker."

One of my very wise girlfriends said to me, "Sweetheart, you're nearly 40. You're divorced. Any man you date is going to have baggage. Would you prefer an ex-wife and three kids, or a snake?"

That put things in perspective. Yeah, a snake's fine.

MORE FROM SHELLY HORTON: 'If you buy a designer dog in the year 2022, I am judging you'

So anyway, over the years I have tolerated Tweaky. I would never say I particularly liked the snake, but Darren made me put in our wedding vows that I would love Tweaky as my own.

I've only handled him a few of times, however, and most of those times I've been drunk. I'm afraid he will bite me even though he's never bitten anyone.

Darren feeds him rats, which is disgusting, but they are frozen rats from Pet Barn and basically we call them mice-icles.

Tweaky has a very cool enclosure, which is actually an IKEA bookcase Darren transformed. It has locks (vital for me) and holes and twigs and a heat lamp. There's even a cockatoo ladder, because saying 'snakes and ladders' is funny.

Tweaky is now 13 years old and three metres long. Pythons can live for up to 20 years (it was one of the first things I googled when Darren and I started dating!).

We have three small rescue dogs, which are obviously not snake-compatible, but I've never really worried about it because we never have Tweaky out of his enclosure at the same time as the dogs are out. If Darren wants to take Tweaky out, then I take the dogs upstairs or make sure we go for a walk or something like that.

Recently, we went away for the weekend and my parents were official puppysitters. Tweaky is fine to be home alone.

When we got back, we picked up the puppies and headed home. We thought we'd been broken into because in Darren's office had books off the shelves and there was mess from his desk on the floor. And then we realised... Tweaky had escaped.

It was my worst nightmare. He could eat any one of our dogs. I have never felt so much anxiety in my life.

We ended up throwing the three dogs into the dog pen, which actually has a roof that zips onto it.

Then we searched the house, and we figured it couldn't be that hard – he's three metres long, and fat.

We searched high and low, we searched through the garage, we searched through the office. We even pulled the couch apart to see if he'd gone into the mechanics of it.

After about two hours, my hair was almost wet with sweat from anxiety. It was about 11pm by this stage, and Darren had a 3am work shift. We agreed that if we couldn't find Tweaky, we'd have to get professionals in the next day.

We had searched the bedroom including under the bed, in my wardrobe and my ensuite. Nothing. I said, "Look, we'll just lock the bedroom door. We'll sleep and then I'll leave the dogs in the bedroom when I search tomorrow."

We put the dogs on the bed, and I went into my bathroom to clean my teeth. That's when I found Tweaky.

He had slithered up two flights of stairs into my bathroom and curled up in a small space between my bathroom cabinet and the sink.

I am not ashamed to say I screamed like I was in a teen horror film.

Darren ran in and hugged that snake like a lost child.

The reason Tweaky had escaped was he'd broken the heat lamp shield. So, the next day Darren got a new heat lamp and drilled it and he's now safely locked back in his enclosure again. No big deal, huh?

But I've got to say it came pretty close to being a big deal breaker. I'm still having nightmares.