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This was published 10 months ago

'I will call Santa and tell him': Why using the big man as a threat can backfire big time

Amy Lyall
Amy Lyall

It feels like everywhere you look, signs of Christmas are starting to appear. 

From the shops loaded up with decorations to the festive treats on supermarket shelves, it won't be long until December hits. 

But for many parents, this time of year also brings the arrival of Santa. 

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Santa using mobile phone

The threat of calling Santa may be tempting, but a parenting expert has warned it can backfire. Getty

Let's be real for a second – it can be so easy to whip out the ol' "If you don't listen, I will call Santa" or "Santa is watching, so you better be good." 

Using this kind of threat about the big guy in red seems harmless, right? Well, maybe not, warns parenting expert Genevieve Muir.

"It's tempting when everyone's exhausted, but using Santa as a tool to control behaviour ('Santa's watching!') can backfire," she told nine.com.au. 

"It can raise cortisol and increase the chance of big feelings and meltdowns as we get closer to the big day." 

Bad behaviour isn't actually going to be changed with a threat from Santa. Getty

Now as parents, we can all agree that trying to limit meltdowns especially around the festive season when things already feel so busy and chaotic is something to be mindful of. 

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But she explained that using Santa as a threat won't actually change your kid's behaviour. 

"The biggest reason of all that threatening to phone Santa won't help your child behave better or stop hitting their sibling: kids don't muck up deliberately," she explained. 

"Kids go well when they can, and poor behaviour is never their first choice. In fact, ironically it is when our kids are behaving badly that they need the most love." 

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Muir explained threats and punishments don't address the underlying reason kids are mucking up. 

This time of year also brings up a conversation parents need to have as a couple: are you going to introduce Santa? Or are you going to avoid introducing that?

It's a tricky one to navigate and ultimately, it's going to be different for every family. 

"There's no one right way," Muir said about the introduction of Santa, or not. 

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"For some families, Santa is part of the fun and magic; for others, they prefer to focus on generosity or family traditions instead." 

Santa

You might also be wondering if you even introduce the idea of Santa to your kids. Getty Images/iStockphoto

So with the festive season fast approaching, it's time to have your discussions about the big man in red, even if it's the hard chat with your older kids.

Muir previously spoke to nine.com.au about how to have the conversation about Santa and the magic of Christmas.

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There are eight words your child should never google: "Is Santa real or is it my parents?"

She's got some advice for how to handle them bringing up the topic.

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