'I lie about nearly everything': Sydney mum's parenting confession

Motherhood may look easy on your social media feed - sleeping newborn photos, matching mum and bub outfits and cute family adventures.

However what that curated view of parenthood doesn't show is the all the hard stuff.  The dinner time tantrums, the messy nursery and the constant feeling of exhaustion at the end of each day. 

So while I do post a bunch of adorable photos of my toddler Noah, I've recently tried make a conscious effort to use my Instagram as a platform to share the realities of motherhood. 
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For a long time I didn't do this. As a mum I found it easier to lie about the state of my life, say everything was fine, than to admit to the chaotic truth of parenting.

During Noah's first year of life I, as all parents, embarked on so many new and confusing journeys. Newborn sleep battles, breastfeeding struggles, developmental milestones, sickness, teething, starting daycare - I was always in the thick of a challenge. 

But when family and friends would ask me how things were and how Noah was going - my response was always the same: "He's great. We're all doing great". 

The truth is we weren't. I was anxious about sleep, dealing with food refusal, worried about milestones and up all night with a teething toddler - but I would never disclosed any of this. 

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I never admitted I was struggling. 

And now I know why. Because I thought that by admitting things were not OK, I was in a way admitting defeat. That I was failing as a mum.

Or on the other hand I was scared. Scared of being judged for my parenting style and the way I decided to raise my child - from disciplining him to sleep training and everything in between. 

Now I'm looking to get past this fear of defeat and judgment. I want to be brave enough to tell the truth and strong enough to admit when I am struggling. 

Because surely that feels better than pretending? And surely it's a lot less isolating. 

Join me this week on Come To Therapy With Me as I tackle this issue with Dr Charise.

Join Nikolina as she opens up her heart and her mind. Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or wherever you find your podcasts.