Why I’ll never be a Mummymaxxer no matter how many videos I watch

Recently, a trend has taken over my social media algorithm that encourages mums to run their households and families like they’re a corporation. 

This includes, but is not limited to, creating ‘mission statements’, crafting ‘task delegation systems’ and having strategic planning meetings each week with your spouse. 

Excuse me?

Should I also add in some performance reviews for my toddler, to let him know the areas in which he needs to improve moving forward? “Less tantrums, please, and I need to you be able to identify the colour purple in a lineup by COB Friday.”

I understand the concept of being organised to stay on top of things, but the idea of turning my whole life into an optimised business seems like far too much.

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It ‘takes a village’ to raise a child – and new mums are finding it in an unlikely place

Though this organisation trend is a niche example, it all feeds into the bigger category of ‘mummymaxxing‘. Even if you’re not familiar with the word, every mum knows about the pressure to constantly optimise every corner of their lives to be a ‘better’ mum for their kids. 

Mummymaxxing encourages us to focus on postpartum workouts, perfect meals and stocked freezers, beautiful, clean homes, matching outfits, being grateful and happy... all while spending as much time with our kids as possible.

By doing all this, apparently we’ll finally become the ‘perfect’ mother.

I’ll never forget the video I saw of a toddler mum (who was also pregnant), who wakes up at 4am every morning to go for a run, do two loads of laundry, prep breakfast and clean the house before her child and spouse get up.

Far from inspiring me, all this did was make me feel like my own efforts weren’t enough. 

According to Choosi’s Cost of Kids Report 2026, more than half of mothers say their mental wellbeing has declined since becoming a parent. That’s a stat that may have shocked me before having kids, but in hindsight, seems pretty accurate. 

These mummyaxxing videos are presented by influencers as if they’re doing us a favour. They share their rules and systems, giving us ways to make our lives easier and better, so our houses and kids can look the way theirs look.

The reality is that it’s just another standard we have to reach. 

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How one Instagram video changed my whole approach to motherhood

Dr Alan Ralph, Head of Training and Clinical Psychologist at the Triple P Positive Parenting Program told nine.com.au that parental burnout is on the rise. 

While he says that there’s certainly some benefit in having organised systems in your house to reduce the pressure of parenting, if you’re trying to hard to ‘optimise your life’, it can get in the way of having a genuine connection with your child. 

“Life’s messy, it doesn’t always match what’s being put forward as the ideal,” he said.

Instead, we need to set realistic expectations. “Parents do not need to be perfect, or to tick all the boxes that these people are suggesting we need to address in order to be successful.”

Triple P Parenting, which offers free evidence-based courses for parents, is built on five key principles. One of them, Dr. Ralph explains, is the importance of taking care of yourself so that you can be available to your children. “If you don’t look after yourself, then you’re not available, and you can’t be consistent as a parent.”

“People need to be easier on themselves,” he adds. “If you’re struggling to fit everything into the day, and you’re setting yourself all these demands, it can lead to a sense of failure if those goals are not met.”

Really, the goal is to just make it to the end of the day without losing it, he says. Parental burnout is a real thing, caused by the ongoing stress of raising kids. 

Despite parents feeling overwhelmed, fed-up, exhausted, and even emotionally disconnected from our kids, 60 per cent of parents don’t routinely do anything to relax and recharge.

There’s this misconception that your value as a parent is tied to how productive and efficient you are. Despite me knowing deep down that really, none of that matters, it’s hard not to look at my dirty kitchen or piles of laundry, and feel like a failure. 

But my son isn’t going to remember the dishes in the sink, he’s going to remember me crawling around the living room pretending to be a crocodile, and taking him to the park instead of doing the housework. 

As Dr Ralph tells me, “you only have to be a good enough parent, you don’t have to be a perfect parent.”