Mum who excluded classmate from child’s party divides the internet

A mother who left a bully off the invite list for her child’s birthday party has taken to an internet forum to share her reason for the often-controversial decision.

The mumsnet user wrote an impassioned post on the forum about why she chose not to invite her child’s classmate to the party she was holding. 

“Those of you who say never exclude any child from a class party. Not even one and not even if they are a bully - you’re wrong, in my opinion and based on my experience.

“My child was bullied so severely from nursery up to 3rd year at secondary that children have been excluded and have criminal records for GBH and more.”

She explained that the issues began when her child was in nursery and escalated to the point of “Multiple attempts to set my child on fire including one with an flamethrower improvised from a can of deodorants and lighter (on cctv).”

She explained: “Yes we went to the police. Yes we worked with the school. Yes it's been through the justice system and yes people were held accountable but please. Don’t tell me that no child should be excluded from a party.”

She did not ask for advice from fellow parents, as many mumsnet users do, but appeared to be using the platform to explain her frustration. However, some users replied to say that they still felt she was in the wrong for not inviting the child to the party. 

One user wrote: “I still think that all children should be invited to a whole-class party.

“But there is no reason whatsoever why parties need to be for the whole class (and inviting 29 is a big party, so it's pretty normal for it to be half or two thirds, especially if there are non-school friends as well).”

Another added: “I think what happened to your child was abhorrent and I'm so sorry. I agree that no child should ever have to invite their bully to their party.

“I'd also say that children who bully and then grow up to be violent often have reasons for their behaviour. You don't always know what they are. Deliberate exclusion of one child is pretty cruel and I don't think an adult should sanction it in any circumstances.”

Others, however, gave the user and her child their full sympathy. One wrote: “I don't think anyone would expect you to invite every child in that situation. It would be most unhealthy. I hope things have settled now and your child makes a good recovery.”