Davina Smith on not losing her cool during daughter's 'toddler tantrums'

Somewhere between the terrible twos and the 'threenage' year is where I find myself these days.

My daughter, Rose, who is two-and-a-half, lives up to her name in every way - a delicate little petal, with thorns that make you bleed and take your breath away.

I’d been warned about toddler tantrums - but wow! Nothing prepares you for it, right?

I’m ok with the actual wave of emotions, screaming and diva antics. Hey, I’ve worked in newsrooms for almost twenty years now - I’ve seen every hissy fit there is!

But it’s the subject matter behind the meltdowns that I’m having trouble navigating.

"I want the pink plate, not the blue one."

"Cut my toast into soldiers, not squares.

"Don’t cut my apple - put it back together now. No knife marks. But peel it please!"

"I want to wear my Elsa Frozen shorts." What the? You don’t own Elsa Frozen shorts!

Oh man! It’s exhausting!

I’ve tried everything the books say.

Diplomatic negotiation. 

Ignore her. 

Cry with her.

Punish her.

Hold my ground.

Give in.

Crisis management before the breakdown happens.

Ugh! Nothing works.

And my poor husband? Well, even with all his military training he’s been left stumped too - just wishing and waiting for his next trip away where "at least the people I live with there listen to me and do what I say".

My iPhone must be doing that thing where it starts listening to your conversations, because my social media feeds are full of parenting advice for surviving toddler tantrums. I feel slightly violated - and yet I click every time on the links, hoping there’s an answer.

Recently I had two nights alone at home while my husband and daughter were interstate. Two blissful nights and three days where I didn’t have to argue with a tiny human about eating their vegetables or brushing their teeth - where I didn’t spend every second strategically back burning towards a huge fire front before the catastrophic conditions hit. I felt rested! And hey I surprised myself. I’m actually a nice person!

We were reunited as a family again and the serene calm lasted all of twenty minutes. Hey, give me credit - that’s pretty good!!

As TERRIBLE as those two-year-old tantrums are, I’m reminded by parents with much older kids that these are the best years.

Toddlers' emotions swing like a pendulum - Rose can be a devil and a saint.

For every moment she fights me, there are moments of magic.

"You’re my best friend Mumma for ever and ever."

"I love you soooo much."

"Cuddle me Mumma! Squeeze me tighter!"

"My eyes are blue like yours and I love your eyes Mummy."

So, I’ll ride the wave of emotions - the screams and the quiet whispers of "love you".

And I’ll try to remember, pink plate - not blue (but I’ll have the blue one on standby just in case!).