What to do when your child runs away from home

Most parents have heard the threat: "I'm running away from home."

But what happens when your child actually goes through with it? Their defiance can be a sign of something far more serious.

On this week's Honey Mums podcast, 9Honey psychologist Sandy Rea shares her advice for dealing with "runners".

"Running away is now thought to be 'faulty problem solving skills' – children who run away are children who are really having difficulties resolving problems in the home," Rea tells Deb Knight in this week's episode.

"They run from anything that resembles the family of origin and the issues associated with what's going on.

"Typically, these children are less adjusted than their non-runaway friends, they have lower achievement levels at school, are more frequently depressed, have poor family relationships and engage in more delinquent activities."

Rea says children who leave home are often loners who are more prone to excessive aggression when frustrated.

LISTEN: In this week’s episode of Honey Mums, Mrs Woog from woogsworld.com joins Deb Knight to talk about why people are so angry and what we can do about it:

https://omny.fm/shows/9honey-super-mums/do-they-like-their-friends-more-than-their-family/embed?style=cover

"They're often under huge amounts of conflict and stress,” she continues.

"We're not just talking about the five-year-old who says, 'I'm leaving home', we're talking about chronic runaways.

"Everything is quite overwhelming for them – they often have trouble accepting the rules or limits that are being set in the family home."

So what’s the best way to deal with runners?

Firstly, identify what is going on in their lives.

"Are your rules unacceptable? Are they too authoritarian or inappropriate? Have a look at what's going on there," Rea says.

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Perhaps they are not happy with the rules being set in the household.

"We need to teach them that there is a solution - it can't be only running away. Because by running away, they are consistently running from the problem and that problem is still going to be there when they return home."

Children who leave home are also putting themselves at potential risk if they have nowhere to go.

"They need money, they need food, they need shelter," Rea continues.

"Generally, you'll find they come back because all of those things are unavailable."

Rea also suggests parents "check in" with their children.

"See how they're going – are they being bullied or are they the bully?” she asks.

"If you can't sit down at the family table, or in their bedroom, put them in the car and go for a drive.

"It's a great opportunity to see what's going on and what's not working for them."

For more of Sandy Rea's advice, listen to her in full on the Honey Mums podcast below: